Sunday, April 26, 2009

#63

63 Days to go...

9 weeks left!!!

We're officially in single digit weeks, Little One!

Daddy and I were driving home from church today and we were talking about you - of course.

As usual, he was calm, cool and collected as I was neurotic and nervous.

I ask this question almost every day - "Can we really do this? Be parents?"

It's such a huge undertaking and I know that it's time for us - mainly because God blessed us with you. If He didn't think we could do this, I don't believe for a second He would have put you in my belly.

But, I was telling Daddy that it doesn't feel like I'm old enough to be a Mom.

I don't feel old enough to be almost 30 years old.

I don't feel old enough to have a mortgage, deal with life insurance, talk about 401Ks, or discuss the market.

I've grown up a lot since my teen years. Feel better in my skin than I have in long time, proud of what I've accomplished so far (but know I still have a lot I need to do), and have matured a little - ok a lot.

Yet, I don't feel like I'm old enough to be a Mom or old enough to even consider myself an adult.

I guess in some ways it's good.

I am old enough to know right from wrong and the consequences of breaking rules.

I am old enough to understand that having a child isn't just about popping out a kid - but actually giving birth to an eternal soul.

But, I'm not too old to forget what it's like to have your heart broken by the boy you like, to NOT watch CWTV, sing Kelly Clarkson while driving in my car, or to look forward to Santa coming Christmas morning.

So, I guess I'm just not old enough but just old enough to be a Mom - YOUR Mom - Sweet Baby.

For now, you're still too young to worry about being old - so just keep on growing.

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What a blessing!

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