"Houston...we have a problem..."

And that problem is a pirate.

I'm all about risk taking. Gambling even - if you know the odds are in your favor.

But, Saturday night - was not a time to gamble.

The pirate I speak of is Coach Leach of my beloved Texas Tech Red Raiders. I bleed Red and Black and am slowly brainwashing - erm - introducing Tech to Izzy.

So - Craig had it all planned. He knew I needed a day away. He knew that a way to my heart was for me to stare at men play with a ball in tights - and let me yell until I was hoarse. He set it up - bought tickets from my Dad for the Tech game vs Houston, booked a hotel room and even set up sitters to come with us so I could go to the game and Isabelle would be looked after. Our sitters - my wonderful mother in law!!

We head down to Houston around Isabelle's morning nap. I nursed her as usual at 8am and figure she'd be alright in her carseat until at least 11am - since that's our daily routine with Stroller Strides.

Little did I know it would take over an hour to load up the car with 1 suitcase, 3 bags, 1 Pack n' Play, 1 Boppy, and a partridge in a pear tree....

Traveling with a baby is a lot of work. I am all about accessories - cute diamond studs (ha - more like the C-Z - cubic zurconium), a fancy bag from Forever 21....but a baby needs a lot of gear!

Diapers, bottles, wipes, extra clothes, blankets, toys, binkies....the list went on forever.

But we got into the car - made it Houston alive and with only a little bit of fussing.

I got all dolled up for the game - hey -it's still a night out! I put on a pair of jeans and my Tech shirt - thinking maybe there would be a chill in the air. I washed AND dried AND flat ironed my hair. I put on makeup - woo hoo!

We get to University of Houston. What a cluster-F! No signs on where to park since the other lots were full. We pretty much ended up on the other side of the school and walked for about 20 minutes - in 90 degrees and about 200% humidity. I smelled great by the time we got to the stadium.

We found our seats. We sat next to Lisa - my new buddy from Stroller Strides, her husband and her Dad. I've only known Lisa for a few weeks so I wasn't sure how to break it to her that Craig and I were crazy fans. The kind of fans that shout profanities at the refs, yell at the top of our lungs and truly believe that OUR voice makes a difference. I tried to figure out a way to break it to her that after the game and after she'd seen how I behave at a Tech game - that she'd want to break up with me - end our embryonic friendship - because yes blog readers - I am THAT obnoxious.

BUT - she turned to me first and said "we're kind of loud" - as I heard her husband Brad shout the fight song.

{Insert Angels singing from Heaven}

Thank God - other rowdy fans! We were good to go!

The game was a nail biter but lasted forever. It took 1 hour to play a 15 minute quarter...why can't my time with Isabelle go that slow!

Tech was up 28 to 23 and had marched down the field to 1 yard line. It was 4th down...Lisa and I kept on saying- just kick the field goal. KICK THE D@MN field goal!!! Lisa and me - two ladies in the stands who sing songs to our little girls, make meals and keep house - the TRUE voice of reason for Tech...but...

{Enter in the Pirate aka Coach Leach}

Ugh - the risk taker - decided to go for it on 4th and 1 instead of kicking the D@MN field goal.
The decision that would potentially kill Tech's chance of winning.

I traveled 4 hours to Houston, sat in the back seat like Driving Miss Daisy with Isabelle, sweated my @$ off from 8pm - 12am...to watch my team lose.

Sucks...

On a positive note - I think I sweated off 5 lbs while at the game - so I decided to eat chips, pizza (minus the cheese of course) and dessert today....

I win :-)

Isabelle is waving her Guns Up!

Excuse me? I have to sit in this car seat for - how long??

Craig and Iz - her first hotel stay!




Abuela and Isabelle


me and Lisa

Blech **Due to the graphic nature of this post parental discretion is advised**

All mothers are so quick to share the stories of their child's first smile, first laugh...blah, blah, blah.

It's all so beautiful and it forces you to picture motherhood as moments where fairies come and help dress your sweet baby that never cries and where unicorns dance in a chorus line behind you as you go through your non-stressful day of raising your child.

W.H.A.T.E.V.E.R.

Motherhood is gross.

So this is it - the nitty gritty. The gross details that only few have been brave to share with me and I've - unfortunately - had to experience.

It all starts on B-day - the birth of your precious Angel.

Craig was allowed in the delivery room. He was allowed to hold my hand, give me supportive words, and look lovingly into my eyes...and NOWHERE ELSE. We had discussed restricted zones that only doctors and nurses were allowed to venture to. We discussed that if we wanted more kids - we'd have to keep - erm - certain parts - sacred and sexy. So - he'd be cheering me on from the North Pole....the South Pole was strictly off limits. Then...the actual delivery was upon us. And although we discussed in length and in detail the rules of engagement - he somehow was granted and All Access Pass. Ugh - he said he didn't look - but come on - it's like a train wreck. You have to look or at least take a peek. I knew what was happening down there - I watched "Knocked Up" (my birthing video of choice) - for goodness sake.

Blech..

Then the nurses brought Izzy to us. Clean and shiny - smelling like all babies should. Then - over the course of our hospital stay - Iz threw up on herself and on me, we had some moments where my diaper changing skills were put to the test and some "stuff" got on her little hospital tee. Now - I really believed I was staying at a full service hospital. Not only did I think the nurses and doctors were supposed to make sure Isabelle was healthy - but I thought for sure they'd be bathing her and changing her outfits during our stay. It was not until the last day - when I picked up my sweet girl and realized she smelled - not so fresh - that she hadn't been bathed or wiped down at least - since.the.day.she.was.born.

Blech...

Then we took Isabelle home. We finally did bathe her. But, no matter how clean you try and keep a baby - at the end of the day - they just smell. Formula or breastfed - babies are going to spit up milk. And in those sweet little rolls under their chin, tidbits of that spit up get lodged in the crevices of those rolls. It's the perfect condition - milk, vomit, warmth, skin that doesn't see the light of day...breeding ground for a cheese factory. Because the smell is like day old hundred year old cheese.

Blech...

Ah yes - and finally - the moment all mother's hear about and dread....the blowout.
I had heard this urban legend and thought it was a folk lore of sorts - like the lady of the lake or an administration that would actually do the right thing for the US citizens (ooh BURN...sorry - that's the cynic in me...and this is not the forum for discussion - if you want to share your political opinion with me you can email me at ireallydontcarewhatyouthink@me.com)

BUT - it happened. And I like to think that my sweet girl is advanced so she just does things above and beyond the norm. And of course - the blowout was not different.

I was sharing a tender moment with Isabelle. It was a Sunday - as I recall. The sun was shining, bird were chirping, husband up and doing chores...

I was nursing her. She was making eye contact with me and I would softly whisper how much I loved her. Tell her hopes and dreams and she suckled on my breastesses. Then - her little brow furrowed. I could see intense concentration and her face starting to turn red. Uh oh - I'd seen that face before. She was getting ready to drop a deuce.
So - there she was. Eating while trying to poop (hey - at least she's learning to multi-task). Then it happened - she pushed as hard as she could - and the blow out happened. "It" (we all know what it is...oh geez - put an "sh-" before "-it"...there you go...) went everywhere. I'm pretty sure none of it got into the diaper because it went up her back, down her legs...all over me.

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

As she pushed as hard as she could - since her little digestive system isn't fully formed - the milk she had worked so hard getting for the past 30 minutes - shot out of her mouth at the same time she pooped. Spit up - like the Exorcist minus the evil.

So spit up AND sh_ _ everywhere - all over me, all over her.

BUT HOLD IT!

...as she blew out of her diaper and vomited - she did not bother to unlatch. There was maybe a split second where there was shock on her face - but it didn't phase her. She stayed latched onto my breastesses and just kept on sucking.

Homegirl didn't want to miss out on a meal (like mother like daughter)....

BLECH!

It's been a busy 3 months {guest post from Iz}

Whew - I've had a busy 3 months. I turned 3 months old the the 19th!

Between growing, spitting up, keeping my mom up at night, having blow out diapers...there's very little time for much else.

But a day in the life of a princess is a busy one!

You know my mom cries almost once a week if not more? She's always picking me up, telling me how big I've gotten, I smile at her because it makes her laugh, and then the crazy lady starts crying. She starts babbling about how fast time is going and how much she loves me....I guess it's pretty great to be loved so much :-)

I've been working out like crazy at Stroller Strides. We go at least twice a week and Mommy pushes me in my stroller. We've made some new friends but I'm the baby of the group. I can't wait to get bigger so I can play like the other babies. But, yet again, Mommy looks at me and keeps saying "You're growing up too fast!"

I think I like this month the best because football season has started! I hang out with Daddy on the couch on Saturdays and watch college football - and get really excited if Texas Tech is playing. We watch the Cowboys play on Sundays...it's great.

The days go by pretty fast with Stroller Strides in the morning, getting home to eat, playing on my mat, tummy time, nap time, eating again, and doing chores.

I found my hands and love to suck on my fingers. I've rolled over a couple of times but I can't do it on demand like my Mommy wishes I could.

I know I'm getting bigger because all of a sudden I have a new wardrobe! Mommy put up a bunch of my clothes that were getting a bit too tight around my ham hocks (again - the crazy lady cried as she did it!).

Overall - I'm pretty happy here. I love to laugh, love to talk, can make anyone pick me up by pushing out my lower lip and giving a pouty lip that melts anyone's heart, love hanging out with my family....life is good.

Me and Daddy watching the Cowboys


I've got him wrapped around my finger!


working out!

Catching up on my programs



Returning emails, looking at Facebook, reading blogs



Folding laundry



catching up on Hollywood gossip

Tummy time is not my favorite time



quick nap!



my cap from the hospital - Mommy tried putting it on me - and then cried because it didn't fit



quick snack - "handwich"



WOO HOO - BATH TIME!!



Sweet Dreams!

Out of my comfort zone

I did something I never would have done a year ago.

I went out with a group of women - most of whom I had never met.

I am a social butterfly - normally ;-) But, I feel most comfortable around my people - the friends I've made over the years - who know me inside and out.

But, when Craig and I decided to move across town - that meant moving away from my friends.

I thought for sure I'd make the drive to see them at least once a week - but you add a new baby in the mix - and those mini road trips are few and far between.

I found myself growing anxious and lonely in my little house with my little one. I knew I needed to get out there again - make new friends.

I dreaded it. I have a very dry and sarcastic sense of humor and I was positive anyone I met would be put off by it or I would offend someone with a comment. I was sure that I'd walk into a group of women who didn't want an outsider coming into their group. I was sure the stay at home moms I would meet would be driving their SUVs and wearing their pearls with their babies dressed in kiddie couture - and would look down at me with my hair that hadn't been washed in days and baby dressed in hand-me-down onesies - so what if her onesie says "Born in 1997."

Man I was wrong!

I joined Stroller Strides and found myself joining Luna Moms - the mom's group attached to it. I knew I needed to make friends and I knew that my odds were good that maybe one mom out of the 148 fit moms would befriend me

I became a chatter box - trying to see who would be my friend. I was nervous - like the first day of school. Much to my delight - everyone was so nice. Everyone so understanding as I walked up looking tired from a sleepless night. Everyone so encouraging as they shared their mom advice with a novice like me. Everyone so down to earth and real.

Then the clouds parted and God created the perfect moment for me....the Britney Spears concert. I had become friends with Lisa - since our common bond was Tech (Get ur Guns Up!). She mentioned she was going to the concert with a few other moms. Inside - I was boiling with jealousy. If only I had met these women a few months earlier...then I would be going to see Brit!
But, the pop music Gods were on my side...I get a text from Lisa the day before the concert and asks I want to to since there was an extra ticket.

OH EMM GEEEEEEE!!!!

Heck yeah I did! So I said yes....

Ugh - I was nervous again. I didn't think this through - a concert and dinner with a group of women and only 1 of which I had just recently become friends with. What if they didn't get my love for Brit? What if they thought my infatuation with her was borderline stalkerish?

But - I was wrong again! It was a great night and it felt like old friends. We talked about our past lives - pre-baby. We shared stories of throwing up....our moments...not our kids. We shared trays of sushi and would reach over and eat off each other's plates. We ran in heels in the AAC as we tried to make it to our seats. We sang to Britney. We watched and made fun of girls who had had waaaay to much to drink.

We started to become friends.

I know it's too soon to ask these women to come over, stand in a circle around a candle, and shout "Ya Ya!" - but I think I'm starting to find "my people" on my side of town. It feels pretty great!

So - a baby changes everything

I didn't believe it when I heard it.

I just thought it was "those" women who didn't try hard enough to be a good friend, be the devoted wife, and threw themselves into their children that they forgot who they were.

Well - crap...they were right.

A baby does change everything.

Isabelle rocks. She's great. She's the cutest kid even when she has her bad nights. She has my heart even when she melts down.

But, she changed everything.

My marriage, for one. Craig and I have to make efforts for each other now. Before, it was always just the two of us. We'd hit up a movie or grab a bite to eat. Go to the bar and watch the game....because yes...I do love sports!

Now - Isabelle is in the picture. Our little tea cup human - always with us. It's not as easy to leave her as I thought it would be but we do it for our marriage and for my sanity. We get to have a date night at least 2-3 times a month if not once a week - thanks to both our families who are so willing to take care of Iz.

Isabelle changed my friendships. I have some great friends - but with so many so far away - and when I mean far - I mean at least a 30 minute drive - which in nursing land and infant place - means about 4 years...

I am so blessed to stay at home - so when I want a night out with just the girls - I get so hesitant since many of them work during the week. So, their weekends and their nights are reserved for their kiddos...which I get. I would want to sop up every waking moment with my little one that I missed out on. But, it makes for a lonely me. Me - the one who organizes nights out and dinner parties finds myself spending a lot more time watching "Iron Chef" on FoodTV on the weekends now - so that's changed - Isabelle changed that, too.

Isabelle changed my eyes. She has made me see things in a completely different light. I now want to really take care of myself because I want to be here for her when she has her babies. She has changed the way I look at my habits of dieting and self deprecation - because I know that what I say to her, how I treat my body...all of it - will affect her. And I want her to see herself just as God made her - a beautiful, unique creation.

Isabelle changed my heart. I never knew love til I had her. And I mean love - not just for her - but for my husband, my mother, my family. All of sudden - the word love seems so watered down now. What I feel for Craig and for her - saying I just love them - well - it seems like I'm cheating them somehow. "Love" just isn't enough.

Isabelle changed my priority. Once upon a time I was driven. I left my husband for two years to pursue a career. And even when I found out I was pregnant - I was still driven and knew in my heart of hearts nothing would stop me. Then on June 19th...Isabelle changed that. I didn't believe I could put my career aside. I didn't realize that putting it on hold would be the easiest decision I would ever make. Sacrifice - yes. But, it doesn't feel like that when I look at her. She changes every day. Isabelle is becoming a different person by the minute and I don't regret the decision to be home with her.

Isabelle changed me. She changed everything. Whowouldathunk??

Izzy saying "I told you so."

Supporting America's Team

With America's sweetheart!!!

Go COWBOYS!!

We do it in the bedroom.

We do it on the couch.

We do it in the car - back seat not the front since there's more room.

We've done it in a bathroom.

Yup - we've done it a lot places.

"It" being breastfeeding...

What did you think "it" was?
{get your mind out of the gutter blog reader}

What I hate most - is that I've felt the need to go to a public bathroom to feed Izzy. There have been times where I've forgotten a bottle but luckily I didn't forget my breastesses - and she had to eat. So, I'd have to get all Macgyver and figure out how and where I could do this.

And this fact - makes me sad. I thought I could be all worldly and whip out the ladies in public but I've been given the stink eye by strangers when I tried nursing her covered up. And I know it's my own self consciousness but I can't help but be apprehensive.

And when you think about it - you wouldn't stick a toddler in a public restroom, make her open up her lunch box and eat her sandwich and apple while sitting on a toilet.

And when you really think about it - when most women nurse it's done so discreetly - and many times under a blanket or hooter hider.

And then when you really, really think about it - the things tweens and teens wear these days - they are showing more skin than I ever would. (This also has to do with the fact that I am no longer a size 2, have a jello belly, and my breastesses could be on the cover of National Geographic...sorry...got off topic again...)

Nursing in public - N.I.P. - so taboo.

It's sad to think that many women who feel the same way as I do feel trapped and chained to their little one since I feel the need to rush home and nurse her. When in reality, we should feel good about our choice to breastfeed and when it's time to nurse again - we shouldn't feel ashamed to do it while we're on the go.

But, again...lots of it is in my head, my self consciousness...but someone had to put those feeling of inadequacy there...and I blame the media and society....

Blaming the media is like the new black...very en vogue....

Hopefully with breastfeeding making a comeback I hope others will realize that it shouldn't be taboo and women like me get the courage to do what's best for their child - no matter where they are.

Isabelle's first date

ok - more like a play date

One of my best friends, Ashley, came over this past weekend. She brought her sweet son, Owen, who is 13 days younger than Isabelle.

We've been friends since junior high so it's great that we are experiencing motherhood together! We have the same sense of humor - dry, sarcastic, and a bit ridiculous....so getting these two together was a real treat.

They already don't want their parents in the room

Aunt Ashley and Iz

Owen getting a bit frisky

Isabelle taking charge ...she loves giving hugs

Umm...

holding hands

But Mommy...I love her!

The best time of year

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TECH!!

Dreaming of a Red Raider Victory!

The "G" word

I was talking to my sister who lives in Lubbock the other day. We talk at least 3-4 days a week if not everyday. We compare weights since we're both dieting, catch up on how the kiddos are doing, laught and chat etc, etc. But the other day she sounded different - tired and weary.

I asked her if she was ok and how her diet was going. She said she was worn out and that her diet was going poorly. Knowing her - it meant something was stressing her out. She said she had volunteered to run the fundraiser for my niece and nephew's school for the P.T.A. Now - my niece and nephew go to a private school where many of the families are wealthy - like own oil fields, have 4 houses, have live in nannies - that kind of weatlth. And many of the mothers are fortunate to stay at home with their kids. My sister and her husband work both work very hard to be able to keep their kids in private school.

I asked her why she volunteered since it's such a huge undertaking considering she's already a Den Mom for Boy Scout's and works full time and that lots of the other mother's who stay at home normally volunteer for that kind of thing.

She said she felt guilty.

Ah yes - the "G" word....

She had a case of working mother's guilt. The guilt of working moms that stems from the fact that they aren't with their kids during the day, aren't able to make it to all of their kid's events because of work, and only get a few hours a night with their kids because they have a job. She said she feels like she has to do to this - so that she can contribute to their education since she can't do a lot of things during the day.
Now - if you know my sister and her husband - they are absolutely devoted to my niece and nephew. They make it a point to schedule days off and work around their lunch schedule to try and attend all the things that Garrett and Maddie have going on.

I listened to her and felt a tug at my heart. I then brought up "stay at home mom's guilt." My guilt stems from the fact that I'm not contributing to the household income. I feel guilty when Craig walks in the door and the house isn't picked up, dinner isn't ready and we have a cranky baby. I feel guilty when I run to the mall and get my hair done or buy a few clothes because technically - I didn't earn the money that I'm getting ready to spend. When time and time again Craig said my contribution to our household is just- if not more- important than his - he may provide financially but I'm caring for our little one.

G.U.I.L.T.

It plagues mothers - working or staying at home. I hate that we (we - being women - specifically moms) - feel like we have to rule both worlds. I know that working or not - mother's are doing their best to provide for their kids no matter what they are doing - either contributing to the finances or choosing to be at home.

Both - sacrificial no matter how you look at it. Working mom's are still mom's and quite frankly - stay at home moms - what we do is work too!

I tip my hat to all the mother's out there - no matter what you're doing - you're doing a phenomenal job!

On a lighter note...look how cute my Izzy is!