#18

18 days to go...

Morning, Little One!

Today I'm going to do something just.for.me.

Daddy and I talked about all the anxiety I'm feeling about your arrival. I know I'm not going to be a perfect mom - maybe not even a great mom - but I just want to be a good mom. Being a mother and having a family is something that I've always wanted. It's been something I always prayed for and sometimes it doesn't feel like you arriving and actually being my daughter is real. I know what an incredible blessing you are, how so many people hope and pray for this experience, but for whatever reason, it's not in God's will for their lives.

I'm not sure you'll ever know some of the hard choices I had to make recently. And, I don't expect you to ever ask. That's a big part of parenting - just making sure that your children are safe, secure and well cared for. And a lot that goes into parenting is making sacrifices. But, so much of what I've chosen - yes chosen - to do for this family has been a no-brainer. I choose my family over everything. But yet, it's still really hard for me. To be driven for something that is truly thankless - and that's what parenting is much of the time - a job with very little accolades and pats on the back.

But, I'm absolutely sure that having you join me and Daddy is a miracle and a blessing. I know that we were chosen to be YOUR parents and we're so thankful for you.

So - today - I'm going to do a little pampering for myself. I'm going to take a couple of hours just doing stuff for me and doing stuff I love. Selfish - maybe? Necessary - absolutely!

Know this, Sweet Girl - I love you, Daddy loves you and we can't wait to meet you!

Keep on growing!