Body Back #3

We had another session yesterday of BB.

It was weigh in day. And to all my blog peeps, I was excited about weigh in day.

"My name is Czarina and I am an weigh-in-aholic."

Everyone say, "Hello Czarina!"

Since I started BB, the hubs decided to hide my scale. I would weigh myself everyday. Sometimes twice a day.

It's a compulsion. And it's ridiculous.

But the hubs knew I would go crazy if I didn't see the "numbers" (feels like the allusive "numbers from 'Lost') go down on the scale or totally cheat and eat crap and skip workouts if I saw that I was losing weight.

I know - I'm crazy.

After growing up overweight - 170 lbs and 5 ft tall until the 7th grade, and after being teased and made fun of, I've developed some scars (and stretch marks) from those days.

Kids are mean.

But boys are great....that's why I lost weight. For a boy called Paul that I desperately was in "like" with and I really wanted him to be "in like" with me back.

But now, I'm getting into shape for me - me first. And for Iz. And for Craig. And my family. And my friends. So that I'm here for many more sunrises.

The other girls in BB were weighing in and I was baffled that they kept their clothes on. Since the scale is in a public area, I had to make the difficult decision to keep my clothes on. But, I did take off my tank. Because we all know that clothes can add about 15 lbs.... (I told you - I'm crazy).

I peed - because water weight counts, took a deep breath, and got on the scale.

I moved the weights to the number I was at last week and saw that it was too much.

I moved it down 1 number...and the scale didn't move...then one more number..and the scale equalized!

Wow - 2 lbs!

And I ate everything I wanted the past week. I worked out like normal - nothing unusual - the week before.

It was working.

We walked into class and Jodie (aka Drill Master Sargent) made the comment that we shouldn't be focusing so much on the numbers. That we should use it only as a guide and not our goal to track our progress. It's still about being healthy and seeing change - whether it's inches or strength or endurance - or confidence in ourselves.

Our work out was bad for my digestion....because it was so hard I almost puked...more than once. We worked with a glorified verions of a Pogo ball called a "Bosu," used bands, weights, ran stairs, did wall sits, did planks...it was never ending...but it did end.

As I sit here and type, my entire body is aching. I had to sit in the tub after a 10 hour work day (I went straight from BB to work and was on my feet from 11am - 9pm) for 30 minutes to get convince my muscles that I still loved them and what I wasn't doing wasn't torture.

"Dear tricep, glute and back muscles....I am truly sorry...but you'll thank me later..."

I have to admit. As a compulsive weigher and president of "Weigh - in-aholics Anonymous" - I'm more excited about seeing change in my body and my attitude about myself.

I want to be healthy, make better choices, just be the best version of me I know is possible.

But dang...getting there hurts like a son of witch.