THREE!!

Three!

Iz is not a baby anymore.

She's a toddler.

I can't believe it.

But since we're counting down the 5 things about the past year that have somewhat defined Iz's and my first year...well...change.

Change.

Iz changed so drastically it's shocking. I look at her now and see glimpses of the newborn I was terrified of holding in fear of cracking the fragile tiny human.


Now, I have this toddler thing that is rough and tough that loves being thrown in the air, loves jumping on beds, and falls and runs into things without shedding a single tear.

She's changed from crying, to cooing, to turning, to sitting, to crawling, to babbling, to talking, to cruising, to walking.

I've changed.

My neurotic tendencies of a germ free existence have gone by the wayside. I can't do much about the mystery Cheerio or Goldfish that she suddenly has in her mouth. Or about the fistfuls of dog hair that end up in the crevices of her neck from the cuddle session she had with her dog brother or dog sister.

We've changed - me and Iz. Our relationship is morphing. It started out as a sole caretaker - me giving everything I had to get so little in return. Of course I still care for Iz - but now Craig is just as involved - taking over bath time, play time, meal time - as soon as he walks into the door. I've allowed myself to trust others watch her while I go to work - I didn't think that having her strapped in a Bjorn as I lift 50 lb tubs of cake batter was a good idea...

But, she gives so much back. Her laugh and her smiles - make the hardest moments worth it. In her way - she's caring for me, too. She makes me laugh and smile on a daily if not hourly basis - which gives strength to my spirit and my heart.

She has her moments of defiance that are testing me as a mother of a toddler. And I've had to change my mindset from mothering an infant, from mothering a baby, now now mothering a toddler.

Now that's change I can believe in....