Wednesday, August 26, 2009

3rd wheel

That's what I feel like these days. It's not really on purpose - and I think a lot of it is in my head.

A 3rd wheel in conversations that aren't with other mothers.

Last night Craig and I went to dinner for his job. He gets schmoozed by agents for all over the nation and when they come to Dallas, they take him and other people from his job out to nice dinners. The best thing is - spouses get to go! WOO HOO - date night - AND it's free - SCORE!!!


I was super excited. I started getting ready at 12:30PM. I showered while Izzy was taking nap #1. Then at nap #2 at 2:30 - I dried my hair. At nap #3 at 4:30 - I got dressed and finished my makeup. Then we were out the door to my parent's house at 5:30 and I was on my way to Dallas for dinner!

We walked into Perry's (PHENOMENAL place to eat!!!) and were greeted by our hosts and Craig's colleagues. The perfunctory "hello's" and "how's the baby doing" came and went and then...I sat in silence sipping on my water. Now....everyone was super nice and great...

Craig talked to me of course. But he had to talk business somewhat too.

I don't know what it is. I am proud and I mean PROUD to be a stay at home mom. I know it's the most difficult job on the planet and quite frankly - one of the most important. I've just been blessed to be able to stay at home full time and I love it, am good at it, and love that this is my new station in life.

I've never felt so proud of my job yet felt so inadequate about it at the same time. When I say I stay at home - it's almost like the person I'm talking to gets a signal in their brain saying "Welp - guess she can't give me any contacts, help me score another account, or have anything to talk about that I want to hear." I see their eyes glaze over as I rave about Izzy's first smile and her latest party trick - talking and squealing.

It's a new world out there. I'm not in the working arena but yet I do all the finances for my home, run a household, multi-task like a mofo, teach my daughter something new everyday, and nurture her soul with scripture and prayer. Yet....

I feel like people look at me and don't think I can carry on a conversation. They act like what I do just isn't as important as someone who works in the corporate world.
And you know what? They're wrong...let me prove it to you.

Conversation topics that I'm well versed in:

#1 - Current events - Did Ed really cheat on Jillian? Why can't Jen catch a break and get a man already? Do you think Sookie will fall for Eric or stay with Bill?

#2 - Healthcare - Did you know that a layer of Boudreaux's Butt Paste and Vaseline works wonders on diaper rash? If Iz nurses for at least 6 minutes - on one side - she'll get the benefits of my hind mind rather than if she dined and dashed for a mere 1 minute.

#3 - Geography - It takes 7 minutes to get to my house to Target. That means if Izzy takes a 30 minute nap - I have 16 minutes to shop and get her home before she starts to wail.

#4 - The Arts - The Itsy Bitsy Spider, Head Shoulders Knees and Toes are THE latest hits in the Hounsel Household.

#5 - Finances - You can get a box of Costco brand diapers for a fraction of the price of brand name diapers AND they're made from the same manufacturer as Huggies...what a bargain!

Maybe it's all in my head and the other people really don't see my conversation skills as subpar. It's going to take some time before I feel that way - but one things for sure - I wouldn't trade my day and night job for the world!

2 comments:

Maggie, Todd, Jackson, and Tucker too! said...

Amen, I know exactly how you feel. Who the heck talks about anything but their kiddos, right? Once you become a mom you realize how your entire world revolves around them...wait, they are your ENTIRE world! Thank heavens for Stroller Strides where it is completely normal to only speak of your child(ren) and husband and all the absolutely crazy things that have happened to your body during/after pregnancy! :) Great post!

CJAS said...

LOL :) You're SO right ! I've received that look too . . . they really don' t know what they're missing !

What a blessing!

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