Fugue State

I learned a lot in medical school.

I learned that sleep is not really a necessity.

I learned that sometimes you think you know what you're doing - but really - you don't.

I learned that you can get by on very little food when you are stressed to the max because you have so much to do.

Hmm...sounds like motherhood.

But really, one of the disorders I learned about in school was something called Fugue State.

According to the most reliable source of information - Wikipedia - "Formerly called, Dissociative Fugue - The state is usually short-lived amnesia (hours to days), but can last months or longer. Dissociative fugue usually involves unplanned travel or wandering, and is sometimes accompanied by the establishment of a new identity."

Now that Christmas is over - officially for us anyways - I know that some have more parties and gatherings planned - I kind of feel I've been in fugue state.

This morning, the hubs and I were already putting up our Christmas decorations and putting up the tree. Not that we didn't love having the festive-ness surround us, but our little house was bursting at the seems with the many gifts we received from family and friends. We need to free up the space to make room for the new stuff.

As we safely tucked in the last Nutcracker, my husband and I started to chat about how fast this year has gone. We both got a little emotional as we watched Iz run around, "helping" us clean, play with her new toys, and provide us with a soundtrack of beautiful music that consisted of just her sweet voice accompanied with the occasional crash and bang of her toddlerhood.

It's so fast.

Wasn't it just last year we were talking about how excited we would be THIS Christmas because Iz would be so fun?

Now - THIS Christmas is over. And she delivered. The excitement in her eyes as she saw the tree light up every night, the squeals of delight at her new playhouse, her crazy dance where she kind of just runs in place and flaps her arms - almost like she can't contain the joy she feels so that's her outward expression of the joy seeping out of her little body...

It was priceless.

And I kind of feel like I missed some of it.

I was so busy with the wrapping of the gifts, the preparing of the food, the getting ready for the gatherings - you know - the routine we all have to do as parents to get through the seasons.

But really - I sometimes feel like I'm in this constant state of being half here. Here - being focused on my kid or my marriage or my now. I'm always thinking of what needs to be done, what didn't get done, what should have been done. Or surfing another website to find something to make my life easier. Or updating a status or a blog to brag about what my kid did, join my network of overworked and over-stressed moms as we commiserate over something, or just find an escape in the lives of others on T.V. I kind of wander and travel through my day and suddenly it's time for bed.

It's like fugue state. How did I suddenly get here?

I'm so guilty of not being in the present.

But, maybe that's why we have these special holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. If we do it right, we stop and enjoy the present with family. Relish in the things we have today and stop needing a better yesterday or praying for a better tomorrow...because we have the moment. This moment. The now.

I will never forget Iz's face as she tore into her first gift this holiday. We had just finished dinner after Christmas Eve service. She was rubbing her eyes because sleep was calling her...and Santa was on his way. But, we wanted her to open one gift. She sat down, unsure of what to do - so we coaxed her and tore a small bit of paper - and soon she understood. She ripped into the packaging and saw the familiar red, the orange nose, and googly eyes. She looked up at me and Craig, smile from ear to ear, and squealed "ELMO!"

Perfect. Priceless.

And the next morning as she saw her playhouse Santa left for her, and her curious expression turn to one of excitement and joy.

Perfect. Priceless.

And her dancing with my nieces and nephews to Christmas carols, her singing her own version, "helping" unwrap everyone's gifts.

Perfect. Priceless.

I am so thankful - even if was just for a day - that I stopped and enjoyed the now - and wasn't wandering aimlessly from task to task. It was the best gift I could have ever gotten this Christmas.

Accidental birthday week

I never understood people who gave themselves an entire week to celebrate their birthday.

The day of - I get.

The entire week - I don't get.

No judgments here - just don't get why anyone wants to be reminded every day for an entire week that they are a year older.

Enter in 2010.

Today is my birthday...

You say it's your birthday
It's my birthday too--yeah
They say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.
- Beatles.

Sorry - had to get that out of my system.

So, today is my birthday.

Today - on the day of my birth - the day of celebration - I have:

- wrapped 30 gifts
- cleaned my house
- done laundry
- cooked meals
- changed diapers
- wiped tears
- disciplined a toddler
- found the weapons of mass destruction

(ok - not the last one - just making sure you really ARE paying attention - unless you think 2 days of no pooping to finally pooping today as a weapon - then yes - I found a weapon of mass destruction in Iz's diaper)

But, today is like another day in my life. My blessed life.

But this week...now that's another story!

I had an accidental birthday week.

A week filled with all things I love : friends, family, laughter, me time

Day 1 of Accidental Birthday week: Sushi dinner with my best friends from my mom's group. I've known these women for a little over a year and I can honestly say I don't know what I would do without them. We combined a new annual tradition - an ornament exchange with my birthday dinner. Sushi, laughter, mom time. Success!


Day 2 of Accidental Birthday week: Spa day. I had this gift certificate my parents gave me last year that was going to expire. So, I went to work at an ungodly hour of 5am so I could leave at 11am for a facial, mani and pedi. The facial was amazing. The mani/pedi I could have done without. I like having pretty toes and nails - but the mani/pedi lady felt the need to draw out the mani/pedi to over 2 hours and talk non-stop about her divorce, her new boyfriend, her suicidal daughter, her abusive relationships - kind of stressed me out on a day that was supposed to be stress free. But, I had a great facial - so I smile at you with glowing skin!

Day 3 of Accidental Birthday week: Craig took the day off to take Iz to see Santa. Iz loves all things Santa - and excitedly points to every Santa she sees and yells "SAAAAAAAANTAAA!" with absolute glee. So of course we assumed (what is it they say if you assume - something about me being an a$$) she would love seeing Santa. Let's just say the experience was not one for a Norman Rockwall painting, but it is a memory Craig and I will laugh at (and Iz will have nightmares over) forever!



Day 4 of Accidental Birthday week: Annual Christmas dinner with my best buds from high school. This year my dear friend Lindsey organized a painting class for us to do. It was SO fun! We painted, ate yummy food, drank wine and champagne, laughed, gabbed, made beautiful paintings and memories.




a
Day 5 of Accidental Birthday week: Work. Not fun but productive.

Day 6 of Accidental Birthday week: I got wined and dined by the hubs. I got all dressed up in a very binding dress. I looked like Goth Asian Mummy - but the hubs thought I was smokin' so that's all that matters. We went to an amazing restaurant where I ate yummy food, met the celebrity chef/owner, got a picture, filled my tummy, and was blissfully happy from start to finish. We then headed over to a Christmas party hosted by dear friends of ours in their beautiful new home. We caught up with great friends who I don't see often enough, laughed, ate more food...Then the hubs and I stayed over night at fancy schmancy hotel and [ ].







Day 7 of True birthday day: I am doing normal life things. Today I am reminded that I am blessed beyond belief. I love seeing messages on my Facebook page, love getting phone calls, love getting text messages. I am reminded with the chores I have to do that I have a beautiful family that I have the privilege to care for. I am reminded with the mountain of presents I have to wrap that God has blessed the hubs and I with a little extra moolah to buy gifts for the ones we love. And all around my home - I see reminders of the reason I am thankful for my birthday - I was given a life I could have only wished and prayed for. Even the trials I've faced - all are blessings.

So today - happy birthday to me! And I thank everyone who made this Accidental Birthday Week one I'll never forget!

You are cordially invited

It's been a busy month.

We've gone to birthday parties, ridden trains, played, worked, gotten sick, the whole shebang.

First plane ride!

We've laughed, we've cried, we've eaten Turkey.



But the most magical time of the year crept up on us.

A tree only decorated with non-breakable ornaments. Thus..only the top half is done (but even good things don't have bottoms on...just as Britney or Paris)

The Christmas season.

The time of the year where songs about mistletoe, Santa, grandmas getting run over by reindeer rule the airwaves - and it's awesome.

The time of year where the air is crisp and cool 60 degrees (hey - we're in Texas), knitted hats
are worn,

and baby fake Uggs are worn.


It's the time of year where enjoying one's company is much more important than doing laundry


or buying real food.


It's that time where we recollect of the moments of the past we'll cherish forever,


where everyone gets along (even angels angels and puppies),


and where we're reminded that family is heaven sent.



It's Christmas.

*Squeal!*

As difficult as it may be, I try not to think about the Incident from last year.

You know...

You remember...

But, it's through moments of difficult times that all too often people are brought together.

And it was through The Incident that two people fell in love.

So, I'll recount the events of the recent union that came about from last year's dramatic events.

You were cordially invited to the union of: German Man and the Irish Girl

Although the countdown was supposed to be for Christmas, the Irish bride insisted it was a countdown to the wedding....can you say bridezilla!!!


Everyone was invited.

The Mexican and the Korean showed up together.

And I heard it through the grapevine that they are set to be married as well. You know what they say..."once you go Asian...there's no use in changin'."

Celebrity sightings were in abundance.

Santa showed up and showed everyone up with all the gifts he brought...

The union was going to be performed by our old friend the Pope.


Everyone was on guard...and the victims of last year's Incident stayed perched high above, away from the gentle little giant...


The little giant that was supposedly behind bars.


But, there are rumors of her escape...with the help of a monkey.


Some say they see her banished with the animals.


Rumor also has it that even though she was pardoned by Saint Nick last year, she was behind bars for a more serious offense....climbing on the adult furniture and drawing on the table.


A crime so severe that she was forced to be the music man for the German and Irish wedding.


Security was in high at this V.I.P event.

The cavalry showed up again


with the help of the Officer and the Fireman.
*Although I have it on good authority that the Fireman was really an - ahem - act for the Irish girl's bachelorette party and not REALLY a fireman...bow chick a bow wow*

Because of the rumor of the little giant's presence, back up was called.


People from all over the place showed up.
Like the real German - he says he may be short but you know what they say about guys with small shoes...
...they bring big beer to make you forget...



Many took the train.

Other's traveled through time...



But, all went off without a hitch..or is a hitch since they got hitched?

And we'll celebrate another successful holiday!

Merry Almost Christmas!

Ho, Ho, Ho!

Peas and carrots

I know I've been really candid about my experience in motherhood. I've been honest with you, my blog friends, and let it all hang out. Let you see my insides - all mangled and imperfect.

And you've all been so kind and so gracious.

Probably because many of you are just like me.

A mom that feels like a thin piece of thread on the brink of breaking.

A mom that rejoices in our achievements - like getting the kids to bed at a decent hour or having a meal on the table that doesn't require the use of a microwave or a drive thru.

So, when I talk to you about my failure - my most recent one - the one that dings at my heart every time I replay it - I know you won't judge me.

Cuz you and me friend...we's like peas and carrots.

I greatly dislike - because I don't like the word hate - the fact that I work so much. I greatly dislike the fact that I am away from my kid as much as I am. I greatly dislike the fact that someone is raising her while I am at work. I greatly dislike the fact that I actually like work and am proud of what I've accomplished and what I'm building for Iz's future.

Stupid guilt.

But, work has me torn away from my real job. My most important job in the world and that's being a mom. I know how INCREDIBLY blessed I am to have Iz cared for by family - aunts that love her almost as much as I do.

But, it's still not me.

Not me wiping her messy face and pudgy hands after meals.

Or reading the stories, teaching her colors, learning how to count.

It's not me.

All of the above I'm ok with - sorta.

But, it's the sad sick face and little body that I miss caring for.

I was in the kitchen - again.... My sister went to my parent's house to drop off her kid today and checked on Iz for me. After yesterday, I told her I was worried she was getting really sick.

Then I got a call.

It was my sister calling me to ask permission to take her to the doctor.

Iz was worse.

She couldn't breathe and I was 20 miles away.

She was running a fever, couldn't breathe, and I wasn't there to hold her hand, wipe her nose, smooth down her hair and kiss it all better.

That moment...I felt like a failure. A failure as a mom.

Now - I know I couldn't do anything. I know that kids get sick - especially now that we're in a Texas winter - you know the 65 degree days followed by a 20 degree day....followed by a heat wave..

But, the fact that it wasn't me to take care of her at that moment...it felt like failure.

She took Iz to the doctor and I finished up my project and zoomed out the door....to sit in an hour of traffic.

All my rushing was a moot point...since of course I waited and waited and waited while I stood in line at the grocery store to get medicine, her prescription, and get well essentials....

I cried in the car on the way home.

I ran into my house to find the hubs and the kid cuddled up on the couch.

My tear stained toddler, runny nose, puffy eyes, fever of 103...all I wanted to do was to hold her and make her better.

But, she wanted nothing but Daddy and I convinced myself that it was because she no longer recognizes me as a legitimate part of her life.

Ok wow - I am dramatic. I'm going for broke and trying to win an Oscar here.

But really, I felt terrible. I wasn't there for her when she needed to go to the doctor. And now that I WAS there for her....she wanted nothing to do with me.

My husband tried to take away the boxing gloves I was using to beat myself up. He greatly dislikes when I guilt myself during situations like these. He reminds me that kids get sick, a lot of mom's have to work outside the home, and that he's an equal part of her care giving as me - so to quit beating myself into an emotional corner that I can't get out of.

I know I'm not a failure as a mom. Just sometimes it feels like it.

I don't know when it gets better. When the guilt goes away.

I know it doesn't matter if I work from home, stay at home....we as mom's find a way to guilt our way into our emotional corners. Whether it's about a sick kid, working away from home, a tantrum...lots of things that are out of our hands.

I just wanted to share my latest failure moment - not to get pats on the back saying I'm a good mom, not to get words of encouragement, but to show you my insides - all crazy and mangled - and to show you that I get it. That motherhood is hard. And the feelings we deal with on a second to second basis are out of control.

I get you.

And you get me.

"We like peas and carrots..."

Double Take

You know when you see something crazy or hear something crazy - you have to stop, look and listen once more - you know - a Double Take.

Lately, since I'm taking on the role working mother, I've been gone from Iz a lot. So the days that I have with her, I really, really cherish.

I never thought I would miss bathtime - but now I do since she's asleep when I get home.

I never thought I would miss seeing her little face covered in lunch/dinner - but now I do since the hubs has now become my Manny - my man Nanny - or the Mother-Father (say this really fast and it sounds like something you shouldn't be saying...)

But, now that I'm gone a lot, I am constantly surprised by her.

Bad surprises AND good surprises.

Bad surprises - like the first time she threw herself down on the tile floor, in a raging fit, and just laid on the ground crying and screaming. Wow - I had never seen that occur. And then the hubs looked at me like I was crazy, laughed and said, "yeah - she does that now when she doesn't get her way."

I pull out her favorite book, sit down on the ground and get ready for my little one to snuggle up in my lap to read. When all of a sudden, she grabs the book from me, sits NOT in my lap but by her Rabbit and Monkey, and she proceeds to read to them. She doesn't want to be read to anymore. But, but, but....this is supposed to be MY time to snuggle. Bad surprise....

Good surprises --

We play in the front room that has now been converted into a pseudo-office/play area (translation: clutter, chaos, ginormous mess). She pulls out her book, sits in her little chair, starting pointing and talking her baby gibberish and all of sudden words I understand come out: "One, two, twee, pive."

Double take - my kid just counted to five...she may have missed the number 4 but really - it's kind of not a real number just like the Kardashian sisters aren't real celebrities.

She continues to play and talk her gibberish and more words come out I understand: "Uno, _____(silence), twess!"

Double take - my kid just counted to three - in Spanish. And yes she misses the "Dos" but I'm pretty sure she's just saving that number for a rainy day.

We are going about our business and she looks up at me and says "Wadder." I look at her and say, "You want some water?" She jumps up and down in excitement (now that I'm reading this it sounds like I deny my kid the basic life necessity of water...).
I hand her the sippy cup, she takes a swig, and tells me "Tank you."

Double take - my kid just said Thank you.

Or when she suddenly appears before me with dangle bracelets up her arm, the biggest grin on her face, and she says "Pitty (translation : Pretty).

Double take...

Where is she learning all of this? Who taught her how to color? How to talk? How to ask for things politely with the sweet sounds of "Pease?"

She's growing up so fast and she's learning at an exponential rate. It dings my heart every time I see or hear her do something that I didn't teach her. Isn't my responsibility as a mother to teach her, do some learnin?

Everyone says it takes a village to raise a child. I guess the village is doing it's job.

People watching

I've been busy with work.

Really busy.

God has been blessing me with so many opportunities. So, I'm going to Praise Him, instead of complain about being so busy and not having time to hang out with my blog peeps.

But, my company, Zen Baking Company, has been busy with the holidays. People love balls.

Ha!

I did my first in-store sampling this weekend at Central Market in Dallas. And I people watched and sampled for 8 hours. You learn a lot about the culture of a city by who shops at the market. Here's my take on the kind of people that sampled:

Surly Sampler - the one who can't find anything positive to say. The one who exclaims, "These are flavorless." But, feels the need to sample two or 3 more times.

Shy Sampler - the one who makes 2-3 laps around the tasting table but doesn't quite have the courage to actually come up to the table to sample. So, I take the bull by the cake-Balls and walk up to him/her and offer them a little nibble.

Sophisticated Sampler - the one who proclaims to have tried every cake ball out there. The one who is a self proclaimed "cake ball snob" and makes a bold challenge "your cake balls better taste good." I accept that challenge...

Surprised Sampler - the one who is shocked at the fact that they taste good...like really good. I kind of wanted to say, "I wouldn't serve something that taste bad..."

Shrieking Sampler - the one who gets their first taste of the Zen Cake Ball and shrieks with excitement and tells everyone around them they have to try them....I like these people...

Sexytime Sampler - the one who flirts with the Sample-er (moi), make small talk about how my day is going, doesn't hear a thing I say about the Zen Cake Ball, but is suddenly stopped short of his advances when I gush about how my husband is Zen's biggest fan.

Shopping Sampler - the one who takes a taste of the Zen Cake Ball, tells me they are great, and proceeds to buy 10 boxes....I LOVE these people.

Fun times people. Eight hours of feeding the masses and giving them a bit of Zen.
I think I made the world a better place during those 8 hours.

Your, Welcome world.

You're welcome...

Neglected

My faithful blog readers (all 2 of you).

My hair did - trust me - these 3 inch roots are not a fashion statement.

My house. I am tempted to put up a "For Sale" sign that states - sold as is...just so I don't have to clean it and just start fresh elsewhere.

My insides. Junk food and caffeine are NOT sustainable food.

My friends. Yoohoo...ladies...I miss hanging out at Jamba Juice and sushi nights.

My kid. Who all of a sudden is a KID and not a baby.

My hubs. Who can now focus his attention on things other than the game of baseball.

What's going on? Why are suddenly some very important things getting the back burner in my life?

Well...remember back a few months ago when I talked a little thing I was doing. Just a little sumthin sumthin on the side.

You know...a little thing called a business.

Like a real business. With a website and everything. (ahem...www.zenbakingcompany.com)

Anyhoo...we've been pretty busy.

God heard my prayers awhile back when I asked Him to please help our business grow if it was in His will for my life.

Yuppers friends...God listens and God moves.

So, here we are.

Zen Baking Company.

My other child.

We were on T.V. Kind of cool, huh? I don't think it's a really big deal. But, it's kind of neat to see me on a The Cooking Channel. I mean - I LIVE and LOVE - watching cooking shows. It's my thing.

We were on a show called "FoodCrafters" on the Cooking Channel. Our episode was called "Treats." It was a 12 hour day of filming for an 6 minutes spot...wowzers.

My sister (business partner) and I had a watching party in Dallas for it's debut. Some - most - of my favorite people came out to support me. I wanted to cry - I was so happy to have them there ...but I didn't think it was very Hollywood... and let's face it. I'm a reality T.V. star now. Move over Snookie...

And then our cake balls - oh yeah - that's what we do. We make gourmet cake balls at Zen Baking Company - got picked up in 4 major gourmet grocers in Dallas.

Central Market is like the Barney's of grocery stores. High end grocery shopping. My kind of place. And they wanted us in their stores. So, we squealed, jumped up and down, and started baking.

YIPPEE.

BUT...

That meant busy days. Busy nights.

Neglected blogs.

Neglected hair, neglected body...

Oh yeah...Body Back. I didn't finish. I wish I could. But my days in the kitchen were starting at 5:30 AM (yes..I know...there's one of those in the morning too...crazy, huh).

But, here are my final stats.

I lost 5.5 lbs in 8 weeks. Not sure of my measurements but I am smaller.

I am stronger. Which means my days on my feet are less painful.

I miss the days of playdates with my friends and evenings out. As much as I want this business to succeed, a part of me wishes it wasn't so much work. I mean come on...why does building an empire take so much EFFORT. But, my friends have been rockstars. Coming out to support me, sending me encouraging texts, voicemails, emails, FB messages.

My kid is neglected. I leave her 3 1/2 days a week. I try to work early, early morning (think 3:30 AM so I can be home by 10AM) or late in the evening (think after bedtime to midnight) so that I can spend time with her during the day. I'm worried she's going to forget me.

My husband is neglected but supportive. He works from home some days so I can go in early to the kitchen. He gets dinner on the table (pizza and Manwich...meals of men). He is so great about telling me that all this hard work will pay off. He's really just hoping we get really big and make a sh!t ton of money so he can quit his job and lead a life of leisure...and pursue HIS passion...being my trophy husband. Ok not really...but he loves me daggummit...

And my camera broke.

So you've been neglected of pictures too.

Pictures from baseball games, birthday parties, watching parties, Halloween.

I'm going to try and get it fixed so you can see my life and not just read about it.

I miss you blog readers. I miss writing about my days and my life.

But, I'll be back. It's my list of things to stop neglecting.

I promise.

Way to go Rangers! **written way before the World Series**

**The fact that I haven't been able to get pictures off my camera makes this post kind of - meh**
You know when photographers take pictures on wedding days, they are always trying to capture the moment.

You know - THE moment.

I think THE moment that is so powerful is when the groom sees his bride for the very first time.

THE moment when those doors swing open, he sees his life begin for the very first time, and the moment is captured with a single "click" of the camera.

I had a moment - a THE moment last Friday.

I am kind of crazy about my husband. Disgustingly so. Ask anyone who is friends with me has probably rolled their eyes at the nice things I say about him, have gagged at the inappropriate stories I've shared, and wanted to "de-friend" me in real life - not just Facebook life.

He comes from a weird family. Weird meaning - small.

I come from a typical Filipino family - which means siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles...the whole enchilada.

His family is tiny. Just him, his parents and brother. An aunt that never married. No cousins.

Weird....to me.

Normal to him..so his family is pretty tight.

Him and his Dad are two peas in a pod. They are so similar it's funny. Total sports nuts. And that bond of sports is something that he grew up with. Throwing the baseball around, kicking around the soccer ball...and Rangers baseball.

Craig remembers going to Ranger games when he was still just a young buck (show us d'em Antlers!) with his Dad and brother.

He remembers talking Rangers baseball - spouting out names that are unfamiliar to me. He remembers the Nolan Ryan no hitter and seeing it with his Dad.

Even now, Craig, his Dad and brother travel once a year to different ball park to watch the Rangers play. A dude's trip.

So cool.

So last Friday.

The Rangers came back to Dallas for the 6th game of ALCS. If they won this, they would win the Pennant and go to the World Series.

It was time.

A perfect storm had brought the game back to Texas and I was so excited that Craig was going to watch it with his Dad and brother at his parent's house.

Enter in MY Dad.
My Dad is probably the MOST giving person on the planet. He's like a magician - he makes things happen out of thin air. He tries to do everything in his power to make his family happy.

Craig is my family. So, my Dad wanted a way to make him happy.

So he got tickets to the game.

THE game.

The historical game that would send our Texas Rangers to the World Series.

A game that so many in Dallas have waited for.

A win that so many - like Craig and his Dad - have waited for. For over 30 years...it was time.

I was over the moon telling Craig that my Dad got 6 tickets for all of us to go to the game.

He was so excited. Giddy.

Let's rewind a few months back.

My father in law fell ill suddenly and had to have surgery to clear an artery that was blocked. An artery that was so blocked the doctor was amazed he was still functioning.

To Craig, that was a moment he'd never forget. A moment where he gave thanks that they caught the blockage in time.

And now...this moment. This moment where he knew seeing his Texas Rangers play a game to win the Pennant - with his Dad - who is living and breathing with us today. Healthy as a horse.

So, remember THE moment.

I got it.

It was the top of the 9th. Rangers were up 6 -2 on them Damn Yankees.

Feliz had 2 outs under his belt and he was getting ready to strike out A-Rod.

And then he did it.

STRIKE!

Out 3...

The Rangers were going to the WORLD SERIES!

And I "clicked" the camera.

I got THE moment. The moment where the final out was made, Craig, his brother and his Dad, the Hounsel men, making a memory and sharing history.

I got choked up. Because I knew what this moment meant to Craig. I knew it wasn't just about baseball but about him and his Dad getting to store this moment in the good memory file.

Way to go Rangers. Way to go...

Unsolved Mysteries: Parent Edition

10. How do you start off with 12 socks, 6 pairs total, and end up with only 9 socks at the end of a laundry cycle?

9. Why does the dog food, dirt, rock, mystery substance make it into my kid's mouth more often than a nutritious piece of food?

8. How does laundry multiply itself at its exponential rate?

7. How am I going to explain to my child that her middle name is not "No"?

6. Why do I feel so much guilt at being a working mom?

5. Why did I feel so much guilt when I was a stay at home mom?

4. How does my child find the sippy cups that have been missing for days and why does she think drinking the cottage cheese milk is a good thing?

3. How come when you brag about something your kid does - he/she does the exact opposite the next time around - like NOT sleeping at nap, or not getting sick?

2. Who is she talking to? Because she talks all day in a language I just don't get...

1. How did God make belly laughs the best thing since Blue Bell Ice Cream? Because, dang it...they are.

I'm not a quitter just a not a do-er

BB #10 was moved since we had sick kiddos to attend to.

Sick kids are sad.

A Thursday without BB is like the Brad and Jen split (wow - talk about dated material) - just plain wrong.

But, good ole Jodie moved our BB session to the following Sunday - the Lord's Day.

With both BB sessions (the 6am session and my 9:30 am classes) joined together, all of us prayed together that we would make it through the grueling session. Ok - not really prayed - but a lot of us were saying things like "Oh my God - this hurts." or "Holy crap..."

Then at BB #11 - Tuesday - I didn't go to my normal 9:30am session. And the thing about BB is that you get to know the women in those sessions and during the class we are all supporting each other, cheering for each other, encouraging one another. But, because work has given me more than I can handle, I had to switch to the 6am session in order for me to get a full day of work in.

I wake up at 3am on Tuesday because I didn't want to be late...
I walked into the class at 5:45am ready to work out. Or more like...trying to wake up, trying to figure out how I was going to exercise with only a cup of coffee in my system (I couldn't stomach eating a meal at 5am...unless that 5am meal was prefaced with a night at the bar and was at Whataburger eating a taquito).

Jodie ain't playin'. She doesn't care that the rooster hadn't even cock-a-doodle-dooed or that my Java jolt hadn't zapped my system. It was still hard. So, like Sunday's session, I prayed to God again with the ritualistic prayer of "Oh my God...this is hard" and "Dear God this hurts..."

Fast forward to Thursday BB #12.

I didn't go.

Not because I didn't want to. My parents needed a ride to the airport at 6am for a trip to Estonia.

Ok - now that sounds sketchy and kind of like I'm making it up.

But, really, my parent's had a 9am flight to Finland for a wedding that they were attending for my Godfather's (not THE Godfather..."Monday, Tuesday, Thursday...." - sorry a lot of you won't get that...ask your hubbies...") daughter who's fiance is from Estonia.

Still sounds fake.

But REALLY, they called me and asked if I would take them to the airport, so I did.

And since I missed BB #12, I decided to work from 7am - 6pm - on my feet, lifting 50 lb bowls of cake batter, 50 lb bags of sugar...ok I didn't really choose the 11 work day - it kind of just happened.

So, today, I am going to work out. Try to push myself as hard as Drill Sargent does. Work really hard....

Then go to wine night with girlfriends...

BB #13 on Tuesday is going to be ugly.

Safe and sound

"Look y

You know when you have one of those days, the kind at the end of it, you just stop and smile and can't help but think, "Man - now that was a great day."

And you just want to store that memory in your mind and keep it safe and sound for all the days of your life. And you want to keep that memory as shiny and fresh as possible so you can play it back in your mind over and over and over again.

Because that day was just THAT good?

I've had lots of "safe and sound" days lately.

What a blessing, huh?

Last weekend, the hubs and I took Iz to the zoo for the first time. I had never been to the Ft. Worth Zoo so I - er - I mean Iz - was really excited ;-)

This was also the first "toddler" outing besides going to restaurant and eating at lightening fast pace or a day running errands.

It was a day truly for her.

It was great. She loved the animals. I loved seeing her get excited about the lions, and tigers and bears...oh my.

The only animal she really knows and recognizes very well is a monkey. But, in toddler speak...it comes out "Muh-ney or mom-mey." So, every animal she saw to her turned into a "Mom-mey."

So, even when she was excitedly pointing to the elephants and the rhinos and the big, fat apes...it would come out as "Mom-mey!"

Way to give a Mommy a complex ;-)

It was a gorgeous afternoon. Complete with cool temps in the 70s, sunshine, and no tantrums.

So much excitement on this little face! Love her!!

Then we had a birthday party for my niece the next day. And when you drive up to a house and see a giant, blue whale masquerading as an awesome bounce house - you know on the spot it's going to be fun. Super, duper fun.

We ended the birthday party with a family supper outside - with a bottle of wine and the absence of whine. So great.

Fast forward a few days and enter in a day that is filled with corn dogs, lemonade, petting zoo, and Big Tex.

And that was our Friday.

A Friday at the Texas State Fair is like a corn dog. The thought of it is kind of gross (I mean come on...chicken fried bacon and fried beer) but you know you're going to love it because it's a rite of passage as a Texan.

And yes...corn dogs are rites of passage. Don't mess with the sacredness of a hot dog, dipped in corn meal batter and fried.

But, we had to make sure Iz experienced the fair since she is a Texan. She was most interested in running around and making us have heart attacks as she wandered and ran in the crowd. But she loved the fountains, laughed at the dog show and had a close encounter with creatures of the wild at the petting zoo.

We ended our day with a corn dog and lemonade. It was absolutely necessary. Actually, there's a law that states you have to eat at least one fried item at the Texas State Fair. Really - it's article 03483098398320.90493

Then, I had some fun without Iz. The hubs and I donned our Red and Black and left the kid with my aunt (God bless her for watching Iz for 9 hours....) to go the Tech game in Dallas with my family and friends....at the Texas State Fair! Woo hoo! The fair for a second time...in less than 24 hours.

We tailgated with mimosas, Madelines, croissants, donuts, muffins, bagels, Blue Moons, bagels, and pumpkin flavored beer.

Wow...what a long way from the college days of tailgates (Lone Star beer and Altoids - you know- to cover up the beer smell).

I got to hang with my "mom" friends who are Red Raiders and one who we are brainwashing into loving Tech as much as us! I can't tell you how much I appreciate and cherish that friendship with these women. Really - when you can transition away from the kids and have a normal, fun, easy going, sincere, real and genuine good time - you have to be thankful for that. Because those kind of friendships are keepers.

After the longest game in the history of games, lots of yelling, sunburns, more corndogs, and a Fried Frito Pie (remember the Texas Law about eating a fried food at the fair....so it was kind of out of my hands...) I had another day and more memories to keep "safe and sound."

I know right? Pretty great couple of weeks.

Blessed.

Beyond.

Measure.