So behind

Behind.

So behind.

I miss blogging and then I get really behind.

And then I am so behind that I don't know where to begin.

That I just quit.

And I just stop blogging.

But, I miss it...want to get back into it...and then feel overwhelmed with the behindness that is my blogging.

Last time we talked, blog friends, Iz started school.

She loved it. And has gone a whopping 3 times since.

She caught a couple bugs and viruses. Has battled through a stomach thing, an ear thing, and now, a cold and cough thing.

Which means, she hasn't been in school and she'll probably melt down when I take her back because it will feel like she had never even gone.

When really, she was running down the hall and was excited to see her teacher and her friends by the 3rd trip to MDO.

But, her school has called me and sent Iz notes saying they miss her and love her and hope she comes back soon.

So nice.

Since we last blogged, I've been taking a breather from the biz. We're trying our darndest to get into new places and spread the love that is Zen Baking Company. We have some exciting things happening and again - all I can say is - Praise God for the opportunity.

I've painted with friends. Celebrated birthdays. Hosted baby showers.

All of course - chronicled in pictures - just give me a second. I'm just glad I got to sit down and put my thoughts down. The pics will come soon. And let's face it, people read blogs not to read them but to see them.

Remind me to tell you about the following stories I have in my head the next time we meet:

- tasting of toilet water
- throwing up in the jacket

Rush hour

Breakfast - most important meal of the day!

I experience Mommy rush hour today.

The hour of time before you have to get to school.

Today - school was Iz's first day of Mother's Day Out at a great place.

I walked into a quiet house around 7:30am this morning after I got back from taking my aunt to work.

I was expecting the hubs and the kid to be up finishing breakfast and getting ready for the day.

But, it was a quiet house.

Kid asleep.

Hubs asleep.

Dogs awake and waiting to be fed.

My blood pressure shot up to dangerous numbers.

It was 7 flippin 30!

What the heck!

We had to be out the door by 8:10am - only 40 minutes away.

So, I woke up the kid, the hubs woke up, and tried to get last minute details done.

Lunch and snacks packed in the bag pack.

Forms filled out.

Car loaded up with the bags, work stuff, nap mat, monkey...

Rush hour....

The hubs - God love him - needed to get his oil changed. So he decided to go at 7:50...today.

Of course, I didn't ask him to wait and do it later. Which he would have done - but I am a woman...

Me, being a woman, expected him to read the stress level on my face, see the sweat on my brow, the tears about to well up as I was getting ready to send my baby to school for the first time.

But, he went. C'est la vie.

So, I had to get Iz dressed, car packed, and take the pics to capture this special day.

We got into the car, monkey in tow, Dora bag pack full of food for the day, and went to get the hubs at the oil change place.

We had 4 minutes to get to school....we have a 15 minute commute.

I was rushing.

We got to school safely. I used my best Nascar moves (which in me speak is about 5 MPH over the speed limit).

I was frantic. I hate being late - especially on a special day like today.

We walked in and the director gave me a hug.

And then I cried.

And then Iz cried.

And then Craig - no he didn't cry.

Iz wouldn't stop crying. And then she threw a fit. And then Craig tried to carry the monkey, the Dora bag, the kid who was crying and then one by one the things fell out of his arms.

And I gave him the death stare - you know ladies - the one that says "Seriously..." in one glance...

And then we bickered on the way to her class.

And then we got to her class.

And Iz was not having it. I walked in, holding back tears (I'm a big girl), put up her stuff in her cubby, and her sweet teacher took over.

I let a complete stranger take over care for my kid.

We made a quick escape and listened as Iz's tears subsided.

I drove to work, called her school twice, and was twice reassured that she was doing fabulously.

I was 30 minutes early to pick her up.

She did great. Loved playing, loved lunch time with her new buddies, slept on her nap mat with no problems.

I dropped off my crying baby and picked up my independent, happy toddler.

I got my first piece of art work. It's a brown smudge on a piece of white construction paper.

It's a masterpiece. I am so proud of her.

Joy.

She was ready...I was not

She loves her Dora bag pack!

Her monkey body guard was there to keep her company today

Happy New Year!

It's almost impossible for me to put into words what 2010 has been like for me. But if that was true then this post would end here...and ya'll know how much I love to write (LOL, ROFL, LMBO ...Lisa that's for you.)

There's a song with the lyrics "the more things change, the more things stay the same."

That's what 2010 was like for me.

I started out the year loving a baby so much it hurt. Now, I have a toddler who's talking (in English, Dora Spanish and Kai-Lan Chinese...I keep telling her she's talking the wrong kinda Asian but she doesn't listen...), running, laughing, getting ready to start "school" aka Mother's Day Out, but now I love her more...but it still hurts. It hurts my heart watching her grow. It's pangs of joy that make my chest feel a bit heavy as I hold back tears of joy as I watch her reach a new milestone. It's that bittersweetness of motherhood as I watch time pass much too quickly in the life of the daughter who teaches me everyday that love is a gift.

I started out the year with the fear of a starting a business that I always dreamed in my mind and hoped for. Now I have a business, in Zen Baking Company (a bakery based in Dallas, TX that specializes in gourmet cake balls - we'll have you sayin' "Cupcake, who?" - hey...anytime I can market my biz...I do eet). I'm still scared. I try to pray it all away - the fear that is. I praise God for the way He's blessed Zen. With the opportunities He's given us to be featured on The Cooking Channel, putting is in Central Market, online sales, the prospect of a new retail space. And with the New Year, the ideas He's placed in my servant's head of getting clients who seem unreachable, ideas of service to use His blessings to touch the lives of others who need it - ideas that seem impossible - but yet I'm reminded "With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26.

I started out the year being thankful for family. Now, that gratitude of being surrounded by family is so deep it seems like an abyss. 2010 was a challenging and heartbreaking year as my family battled with the loss of loved ones, the pain of watching loved ones hurt (mentally, physically emotionally), and the ongoing battle of those challenges - mental, physical, emotional - join us as we enter in 2011. But, the gratitude I have to God for healing some, welcoming some to Heaven, and the joy in knowing I have another day with those I love, is one I cannot be more thankful for.

I started out the year with some great relationships. Now, I have friends that are now more like family. I've learned to let go of some and be thankful for the handful of people in my life that are just as thankful for me as I am for them. I am surrounded by friends who God placed in my life not just for a reason, much more than a season, but what I know is a lifetime. And I am so thankful.

I started out the year with a husband I loved more than I could ever imagine. I enter into the New Year realizing he's not the man I prayed for, but the man God prayed for me. 2010 has shown me what being in a marriage really means. Craig has led our family in ways I didn't know were possible. Even after 15 years of knowing him, I could not have prayed for what I see in him now. He's been the rock for our family. If he ever showed doubt in me and my ability as a business woman/mother/wife - he hid it well! His faith in God's plan for our lives - his, mine and Iz's - has been solid. He transitioned into our new life as a family of two working parents by picking up slack at home by being the mother and father to Iz when I'm not home. He's taken on the extra responsibility because he believes in me and believes I can move mountains with my business - all the while - supporting our family in his job and starting a master's program in business. I am so undeserving of this gift from God.

So 2010..."the more things change, the more things stay the same"...as we enter 2011...

Still a mother, still a business woman, still a daughter/sister/aunt, still a friend, still a wife.

But I'm changing...as the year begins. New opportunities, new milestones...

I am excited for 2011.

Bring it.