New Beginnings

I didn't know what I was going to do.

I had this screaming thing, leaky breastesses, no sleep, and about 15 pounds of baby weight (maybe the pizza every day during my pregnancy WAS a bad idea) I had to lose...and a husband that had to work everyday, friends across the metroplex..

I was alone.

I was sad.

I was fat. F* the motherhood glow.

Then, I heard about this thing called Stroller Strides.

I decided to take a class and check it out.

I was nervous, my sweet baby girl was still so tiny, and I was forcing her to lounge in her car seat/stroller while I forced myself to work out and meet new people.

But, I did it. I visited the class, met great women, found other moms to network with and do life with.

And it was all thanks to Maggie.

Maggie.

The instructor with inspirational words. The mother who is no nonsense and isn't afraid to tell it like it is and open up her heart and show her weakness. The friend to everyone. A friend to me.

I'm not quite sure she truly understands what she did when she decided to build her franchise of SS and Luna Mom's club.

Did she realize she was creating a place where women could be encouraged to change their lives and their children's lives by showing them that fitness should be a priority in our everyday?

Did she realize she was helping set the foundation for women to build friendships based on motherhood but grow into a friendship that is so much more?

My life is so different now then almost 2 years ago when I first had Iz. And so much of who I am now is because of the women that surround me - the women I met in SS and Luna Moms.

As my friend moves on and the next chapter in her life unfolds, I hope she realizes that what she has built is so much more than a business. She changed lives.

You will be missed, Maggie.

All the best in your New Beginning!

She Made Me

Sometimes I look at her and can't believe I made her.
That through love - this little human being was formed and made.

I carried her, shared heart beats, we were one for 9 months.
And then I finally heard her, saw her, held her.

It was at that moment - I realized...she made me.

She made me into a mother.

She gave me the title - without me having to earn it.

She gave me the responsibilities to nourish her mind, body and soul.

She caused my heart to grow to the ends of eternity.

She gives me laughter.

She gives me heartache.

She trusts me without asking me having to earn it.

She challenges me.

She made me grow up.

She makes me feel young.

She makes me feel vulnerable.

She makes me want to be a better me.

She made me.

Happy Mother's Day!

Hi people...Mommy is really busy at work making treats. But, she let me take over her blog today to tell my favorite guy Happy Birthday! -- Iz

I'm no longer a baby, Daddy, I'm growin' like you say.
I only wish I can give you the gift you want - today - your birthday.

You always ask me, "Can you stay little?"...and really I did try.
But, I just keep on growing - but let me tell you something - you're my special guy.

No matter how big I get, I'll remember all the times.
You read to me, sang to me, and made up silly rhymes.

Oh wait - I'll always love - how we play hide and seek and chase.
And the way you look when I pucker up to kiss you on your stubbly face.

I know I can be bad sometimes - climbing and falling off of chairs.
Even though you raise your voice sometimes - you still hug me - to show me that you care.

You make me yummy meals - pizza's my favorite of them all.
And, I hope you see I'm just like you - growing big and tall.

I know our nights can be a little lonely, with Mommy at work away.
But did you know I love the times - when it's just Daddy and me day?

When you let me color in your lap, read me books or sing my Elmo song....
You're really good at catching me - er - telling me when I've done something wrong.

Thanks for showing me how to pray - and that it's important to never forget.
To thank God for His blessings - no matter how tough times may get.

Daddy, "peasetankyouwelcome", really thank you for loving me like you do.
Happy birthday Daddy - I love you to the moon!

In her 20s

She's hit the best time of her toddlerhood....

The 20s...

Can you believe Bug is 20 months old?

Doesn't it feel like yesterday when she first came into our lives, blog friends?

Where did the time go?

I'm thoroughly convinced God makes time go by faster when you have kids because as a kid all you wanted was for time to hurry up.

So, God makes time "hurry up" when you want time to slow down.

Because then, it allows us to teach lessons that start with, "Don't try to speed up your growing up. You'll be growing up and grown up before you know it..."

She's in her 20s.

And she is so fun, so challenging, so ridiculous, so funny, so emotional...so much better than I prayed for when I prayed for a kid.

She's the epitome of joy and of life. Her laughter is contagious. It radiates through our home and brightens up every room. She laughs about everything and anything.

There are only a few moments of my day where there's silence. Iz talks - some gibberish - but mostly "real" words.

She sings.

And her songs would put any Grammy artist to shame.

Her tiny voice as she belts out "God our Faaaather," The Barney Song, the original "Elmo, Elmo", etc etc are sounds that make my heart swell with pride.

Craig looks at her and asks her if she'll stay this size forever. Joking, of course. But, sometimes it's almost like a plea. Our way of asking her to be this little human that makes our lives better forever. But, she'll look at us - with sticky hands, Monkey in one arm, barefoot, with her round toddler tummy - and simply say "No." Some may say it's because "No" is the vocabulary of all toddlers but I'm pretty sure she's just putting me and Craig in our place - reminding us - this time is fleeting.

So, we thank God for the story times, thank Him for the tantrums, thank God for the days without silence, and thank God for the moments of silence as we watch her sleep.

So fast.

Valentine's Day

My very special Valentines

I'm not a big fan of the holiday.

But, for my business - which is cake truffles, cake balls, cake goodness - it's good.

Very good.

So good that I worked 40 hours in 2.5 days.

Ruthless.

So to say that all I wanted for Valentine's Day was to sit at home and do nothing is an understatement.

But when you have a 20 month old (whoa...when did she hit her 20s???), sitting around doing nothing is just not in the cards.

Iz had a special Daddy Valentine lunch at MDO. I was crushed when the teacher told me that the day of love would be reserved for Daddy or the equivalent of a Dad. I mean - what about Mommy? But, I wasn't about to stage a coup so I just let it be.

Craig went into work for a couple of hours and headed to her school.

As the morning went on, all I could think about were my two sweet Valentine's having lunch, playing at school, and making memories.

I rushed home from work to get home so I could be home when Iz left MDO.

I heard the door open as I was doing Valentine's chores (you know - giving love to the laundry, the floors, etc) and heard a little voice yell, "Keeiiiisssseeerrr (aka Keiser our boy dog)! Daaaaiidddyy (aka Daisy our girl dog) where are you??"

I saw my littlest Valentine - hair messed up, clutching her sippy cup, and ready to make a mess in the house I just cleaned - smile when she saw me. She yelled ,"Mommmmmy!" and ran up to me.

Ugh - crushes my heart. Truly - that simple act crushes me. Like a good physical pain - emotions that are all sorts of gigantic that it feels like my heart is exploding.

So, instead of an afternoon of doing nothing - we went for a family walk, read books, colored, played on the slide, watch Gabba, shed tears, pulled on dogs tails, had a dinner where the main course was ketchup, took a bath with squeaky friends, cried during the tooth brushing, said our prayers, and finally went night-night.

Best Valentine's Day Ever.

Snowmageddon 2011

I'm Asian - or more specific - and Asian Pacific Islander.

Notice - "ISLANDER."

Like - on an island, surrounded in water, with the sun beating down and a cold front is considered 70 degrees.

Thus....

I was NOT born to endure Snowmageddon 2011.

True to Texas weather - we had an amazing weekend about 6 days ago. We took a family walk in 70 degree weather in shorts and t-shirts.

And today - 6 days to present - I am looking outside my window to about 5 inches of snow on the ground (about 2 inches has melted away) to 20 degree weather.

It started on Tuesday with an ice storm in the middle of the night - that started out as rain - and as the temp dropped about 15 degrees in 30 minutes - and the rain quickly turned to ice.

DFW shut down, Craig's worked closed, and we all hung out at home.

So fun.

Then the next day - Wednesday - was not much better. Craig worked from home, I stayed at home again, and Iz hung out with us.

Cabin fever.

But, Thursday, we had to go to work and brave the streets. It was crazy. Ice skating rink - aka - highways - was treacherous. But, we braved them and by the Grace of God - we got home safely.

Everyone was ready for the sun to be up and stay up and melt the ice away.

But...

Friday early morning - the snow hit. White, fluffy, snow. It'd be great if we hadn't been iced in for 3 days. And...I had to work. Bummer.

But, Craig stayed home today with Iz while I worked and all I could think about was:
1 - getting home safely to my kid
2 - seeing Iz experience snow now that she's big enough to really run around and enjoy it.

I got home around 4 pm and Craig and Iz had already started in on the fun. Iz didn't want to keep anything on her hands so gloves were out of the question. She didn't like the way the snow felt and she didn't like the snow messing up her boots.

She's all about her shoes. That's my girl.

Thankful for days snowed in so I could spend with my family. Thankful for safe travels as I worked. Thankful for snow and for the memories of Snowmageddon 2011 - no matter how Asian I am.

So behind

Behind.

So behind.

I miss blogging and then I get really behind.

And then I am so behind that I don't know where to begin.

That I just quit.

And I just stop blogging.

But, I miss it...want to get back into it...and then feel overwhelmed with the behindness that is my blogging.

Last time we talked, blog friends, Iz started school.

She loved it. And has gone a whopping 3 times since.

She caught a couple bugs and viruses. Has battled through a stomach thing, an ear thing, and now, a cold and cough thing.

Which means, she hasn't been in school and she'll probably melt down when I take her back because it will feel like she had never even gone.

When really, she was running down the hall and was excited to see her teacher and her friends by the 3rd trip to MDO.

But, her school has called me and sent Iz notes saying they miss her and love her and hope she comes back soon.

So nice.

Since we last blogged, I've been taking a breather from the biz. We're trying our darndest to get into new places and spread the love that is Zen Baking Company. We have some exciting things happening and again - all I can say is - Praise God for the opportunity.

I've painted with friends. Celebrated birthdays. Hosted baby showers.

All of course - chronicled in pictures - just give me a second. I'm just glad I got to sit down and put my thoughts down. The pics will come soon. And let's face it, people read blogs not to read them but to see them.

Remind me to tell you about the following stories I have in my head the next time we meet:

- tasting of toilet water
- throwing up in the jacket

Rush hour

Breakfast - most important meal of the day!

I experience Mommy rush hour today.

The hour of time before you have to get to school.

Today - school was Iz's first day of Mother's Day Out at a great place.

I walked into a quiet house around 7:30am this morning after I got back from taking my aunt to work.

I was expecting the hubs and the kid to be up finishing breakfast and getting ready for the day.

But, it was a quiet house.

Kid asleep.

Hubs asleep.

Dogs awake and waiting to be fed.

My blood pressure shot up to dangerous numbers.

It was 7 flippin 30!

What the heck!

We had to be out the door by 8:10am - only 40 minutes away.

So, I woke up the kid, the hubs woke up, and tried to get last minute details done.

Lunch and snacks packed in the bag pack.

Forms filled out.

Car loaded up with the bags, work stuff, nap mat, monkey...

Rush hour....

The hubs - God love him - needed to get his oil changed. So he decided to go at 7:50...today.

Of course, I didn't ask him to wait and do it later. Which he would have done - but I am a woman...

Me, being a woman, expected him to read the stress level on my face, see the sweat on my brow, the tears about to well up as I was getting ready to send my baby to school for the first time.

But, he went. C'est la vie.

So, I had to get Iz dressed, car packed, and take the pics to capture this special day.

We got into the car, monkey in tow, Dora bag pack full of food for the day, and went to get the hubs at the oil change place.

We had 4 minutes to get to school....we have a 15 minute commute.

I was rushing.

We got to school safely. I used my best Nascar moves (which in me speak is about 5 MPH over the speed limit).

I was frantic. I hate being late - especially on a special day like today.

We walked in and the director gave me a hug.

And then I cried.

And then Iz cried.

And then Craig - no he didn't cry.

Iz wouldn't stop crying. And then she threw a fit. And then Craig tried to carry the monkey, the Dora bag, the kid who was crying and then one by one the things fell out of his arms.

And I gave him the death stare - you know ladies - the one that says "Seriously..." in one glance...

And then we bickered on the way to her class.

And then we got to her class.

And Iz was not having it. I walked in, holding back tears (I'm a big girl), put up her stuff in her cubby, and her sweet teacher took over.

I let a complete stranger take over care for my kid.

We made a quick escape and listened as Iz's tears subsided.

I drove to work, called her school twice, and was twice reassured that she was doing fabulously.

I was 30 minutes early to pick her up.

She did great. Loved playing, loved lunch time with her new buddies, slept on her nap mat with no problems.

I dropped off my crying baby and picked up my independent, happy toddler.

I got my first piece of art work. It's a brown smudge on a piece of white construction paper.

It's a masterpiece. I am so proud of her.

Joy.

She was ready...I was not

She loves her Dora bag pack!

Her monkey body guard was there to keep her company today

Happy New Year!

It's almost impossible for me to put into words what 2010 has been like for me. But if that was true then this post would end here...and ya'll know how much I love to write (LOL, ROFL, LMBO ...Lisa that's for you.)

There's a song with the lyrics "the more things change, the more things stay the same."

That's what 2010 was like for me.

I started out the year loving a baby so much it hurt. Now, I have a toddler who's talking (in English, Dora Spanish and Kai-Lan Chinese...I keep telling her she's talking the wrong kinda Asian but she doesn't listen...), running, laughing, getting ready to start "school" aka Mother's Day Out, but now I love her more...but it still hurts. It hurts my heart watching her grow. It's pangs of joy that make my chest feel a bit heavy as I hold back tears of joy as I watch her reach a new milestone. It's that bittersweetness of motherhood as I watch time pass much too quickly in the life of the daughter who teaches me everyday that love is a gift.

I started out the year with the fear of a starting a business that I always dreamed in my mind and hoped for. Now I have a business, in Zen Baking Company (a bakery based in Dallas, TX that specializes in gourmet cake balls - we'll have you sayin' "Cupcake, who?" - hey...anytime I can market my biz...I do eet). I'm still scared. I try to pray it all away - the fear that is. I praise God for the way He's blessed Zen. With the opportunities He's given us to be featured on The Cooking Channel, putting is in Central Market, online sales, the prospect of a new retail space. And with the New Year, the ideas He's placed in my servant's head of getting clients who seem unreachable, ideas of service to use His blessings to touch the lives of others who need it - ideas that seem impossible - but yet I'm reminded "With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26.

I started out the year being thankful for family. Now, that gratitude of being surrounded by family is so deep it seems like an abyss. 2010 was a challenging and heartbreaking year as my family battled with the loss of loved ones, the pain of watching loved ones hurt (mentally, physically emotionally), and the ongoing battle of those challenges - mental, physical, emotional - join us as we enter in 2011. But, the gratitude I have to God for healing some, welcoming some to Heaven, and the joy in knowing I have another day with those I love, is one I cannot be more thankful for.

I started out the year with some great relationships. Now, I have friends that are now more like family. I've learned to let go of some and be thankful for the handful of people in my life that are just as thankful for me as I am for them. I am surrounded by friends who God placed in my life not just for a reason, much more than a season, but what I know is a lifetime. And I am so thankful.

I started out the year with a husband I loved more than I could ever imagine. I enter into the New Year realizing he's not the man I prayed for, but the man God prayed for me. 2010 has shown me what being in a marriage really means. Craig has led our family in ways I didn't know were possible. Even after 15 years of knowing him, I could not have prayed for what I see in him now. He's been the rock for our family. If he ever showed doubt in me and my ability as a business woman/mother/wife - he hid it well! His faith in God's plan for our lives - his, mine and Iz's - has been solid. He transitioned into our new life as a family of two working parents by picking up slack at home by being the mother and father to Iz when I'm not home. He's taken on the extra responsibility because he believes in me and believes I can move mountains with my business - all the while - supporting our family in his job and starting a master's program in business. I am so undeserving of this gift from God.

So 2010..."the more things change, the more things stay the same"...as we enter 2011...

Still a mother, still a business woman, still a daughter/sister/aunt, still a friend, still a wife.

But I'm changing...as the year begins. New opportunities, new milestones...

I am excited for 2011.

Bring it.