Old

Me.

I am old. And when I say old - in my mind I'm a 13 year old that used to think 30 was ancient...but now..I AM 30...

Craig jokes that I'm like Mr. Burns from the "Simpsons." I have a 90 year old body in my actual 30 year old being.

In my mind, I'm really no older than 21.

21 because it's the legal drinking age and I - gasp! - never drank before that ;-)

There are days where I wish I could hit happy hour with my girls, put on my heels and dance til dawn.

Then I remember that I eat dinner at 5pm because anything later will upset my stomach and aggravate my acid reflux.

And then I'm reminded that I have back spasms and so much back pain that dancing til dawn will just make the pain worse - and soaking in a hot bath, rubbing Ben Gay on my back, and applying cold/heat - is probably the better idea.

I'm ailing.

Really - I finally gave in and decided to see a doctor about this dang back. Four months of this and I've thrown in the towel. I decided it was time when Iz held her arms up for me to hold her, I tried to bend down, and just couldn't handle the pain and didn't pick up my sweet Angel.

God created me to be her Mommy - and it killed my spirit and broke my heart when I couldn't hold my baby girl.

So, I called the doctor and I'm set to go.

Then a friend called me and told me she had an appointment to see a Gastroenterologist (aka stomach doc) because she may have diverticulitis. Basically - it's kind of like an appendicitis but of your colon - OUCH! And for the record - it normally only affects individuals in their 60s.

She called me right after she saw the specialist - and yup - my 30 year old friend is the rare exception and has diverticulitis.

An old person's disease.

When did this happen? Forget about me whining about how fast Iz is growing up - when did I suddenly check the box 30-35? Who is that person in the mirror with the laugh lines around her eyes (hey - and I laugh a LOT so you can imagine how many there actually are)? Wait - is that a grey hair? Hold on - why are some body parts no longer defying the laws of gravity and are inches from touching the ground?

Old.

Where is vampire venom when you need it?
{True vamp fans know what this means and if you don't get it - sorry for ya}

And when I say old