I just thought it was "those" women who didn't try hard enough to be a good friend, be the devoted wife, and threw themselves into their children that they forgot who they were.
Well - crap...they were right.
A baby does change everything.
Isabelle rocks. She's great. She's the cutest kid even when she has her bad nights. She has my heart even when she melts down.
But, she changed everything.
My marriage, for one. Craig and I have to make efforts for each other now. Before, it was always just the two of us. We'd hit up a movie or grab a bite to eat. Go to the bar and watch the game....because yes...I do love sports!
Now - Isabelle is in the picture. Our little tea cup human - always with us. It's not as easy to leave her as I thought it would be but we do it for our marriage and for my sanity. We get to have a date night at least 2-3 times a month if not once a week - thanks to both our families who are so willing to take care of Iz.
Isabelle changed my friendships. I have some great friends - but with so many so far away - and when I mean far - I mean at least a 30 minute drive - which in nursing land and infant place - means about 4 years...
I am so blessed to stay at home - so when I want a night out with just the girls - I get so hesitant since many of them work during the week. So, their weekends and their nights are reserved for their kiddos...which I get. I would want to sop up every waking moment with my little one that I missed out on. But, it makes for a lonely me. Me - the one who organizes nights out and dinner parties finds myself spending a lot more time watching "Iron Chef" on FoodTV on the weekends now - so that's changed - Isabelle changed that, too.
Isabelle changed my eyes. She has made me see things in a completely different light. I now want to really take care of myself because I want to be here for her when she has her babies. She has changed the way I look at my habits of dieting and self deprecation - because I know that what I say to her, how I treat my body...all of it - will affect her. And I want her to see herself just as God made her - a beautiful, unique creation.
Isabelle changed my heart. I never knew love til I had her. And I mean love - not just for her - but for my husband, my mother, my family. All of sudden - the word love seems so watered down now. What I feel for Craig and for her - saying I just love them - well - it seems like I'm cheating them somehow. "Love" just isn't enough.
Isabelle changed my priority. Once upon a time I was driven. I left my husband for two years to pursue a career. And even when I found out I was pregnant - I was still driven and knew in my heart of hearts nothing would stop me. Then on June 19th...Isabelle changed that. I didn't believe I could put my career aside. I didn't realize that putting it on hold would be the easiest decision I would ever make. Sacrifice - yes. But, it doesn't feel like that when I look at her. She changes every day. Isabelle is becoming a different person by the minute and I don't regret the decision to be home with her.
Isabelle changed me. She changed everything. Whowouldathunk??
Izzy saying "I told you so."
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