#59

59 Days to go...

Hi, Little One...
Did you think I forgot about you??

I know - it's a late post today but rest assured you were not forgotten.

I had a busy day today with your Aunt Shauna, went to Whole Foods to make dinner for your Abuelo and Abuela, and then I got home and felt very, very, very tired.

I decided to lay down and then woke up with Daddy walking into the bedroom. I had been asleep for about an hour and a half. I am praying that you're just hitting a growth spurt and that's what's taken all my energy and that I'm not coming down with something.

I have so much I want to write about, Sweet Girl, but Mommy is tired today.

I'll leave you with this. I think I'm starting to get what motherhood is about. Even when you're at the peak of exhaustion and you're so tired that you can barely keep your eyes open - you realize there is someone depending on you to be there. Yes - it is silly that I felt that I needed to get up out of bed and get on the computer to write to you. But, in my heart, it's a promise I made to you to write and chronicle our 100 days til you arrive and I wasn't going to break that promise just because I was tired.

I see that as a itty bitty piece of Mommy-hood...how mom's must feel all over the world...knowing that someone is constantly needing them in whatever capacity. What a huge job but also - a really great feeling.

So, Baby girl, keep on growing and if it's you that's making me so tired...I will gladly let you zap every piece of energy I have to make sure you're getting bigger and staying healthy.

Love you!

#60

60 Days to go...

Morning, Little One!

I dream about how you look like all the time. One time I had a dream that you were freakishly long and skinny. Another time I had a dream that you were really, really white - like no Asian at all...weird.

Since you're half me and half Daddy - it's hard to say what physical attributes I want you to have.

But, I do want you to have Daddy's height (at least some of it) - I'm kind of short so if you can get that - that would be awesome. Daddy has a killer smile and really pretty eyes - so take those too! I have pretty great hair and a petite frame - so consider taking those.

Daddy has weird hands - he is double jointed - so take my normal hands :-)

But he has a really great metabolism and is built really well - so be small boned, tall and athletically built.

He had a bad overbite as a kid - so you can take my bone structure too if you like. But, take his eyes - they're a pretty hazely, brownish color.

He doesn't have any hair on his head but hair all over his body - so maybe you'll get that part of me that only has to shave my legs once a month!

Really - I think you're going to be super, duper cute no matter what! It's fun to try to picture what you'll look like and who you'll look like. Daddy is sweet and says he wants you to look like me :-)

But, I think you have the same bone structure as him in the face based on your sonograms.

Your profile at 30 wks

My DIY sonogram of Daddy's profile

I guess I only have 60 more days to find out what your sweet face looks like - but for now - keep growing Sweet Baby!

#61

61 Days to go...

Morning, Little One!

You know how much I love you. I really hope you know that no matter how much I complain to Daddy about being pregnant. I think I complain so much because it's so weird not having control over what's happening with my body. Although, it is amazing how my body compensates for having you a part of me.

But, I still have a hard time seeing my body change and a hard time not worrying that I'm not doing everything to make sure you're safe and developing into a normal healthy baby.

One thing I hope and pray for you, Little One is that Daddy and I raise you to be proud of how God made you and to cherish your body like the amazing creation it is. So many girls are hung up on image and are forced to make drastic measures to fit into the "ideal" image set forth my the media.

Of course, it doesn't help girls and women (even me) feel that we're expected to look a certain day in and day out. Now, I'm a huge proponent of taking care of your body by exercising and eating right. I love manicures and pedicures, make-up, and shopping for clothes. I don't think it's vain to want to be presentable.

But it's so important to look at yourself through the eyes of the Creator first - a beautiful, unique creation - and then look through His eyes into the mirror.

I'm going to do my best to set this example for you. I have struggled with self image in the past. But, once I found out I was having a daughter, I realized that all not only will you look at me as Mommy but as a role model.

Hopefully some of my good habits are getting passed down to you already. But, now is not the time to worry about those things - all you have to do is to keep on growing, Baby Girl!

#62

62 Days to go...

Morning Little One!

We had another great doctor's appointment today. The specialist is pretty impressed that my blood pressure has been as good as it has been since you've arrived. I'm pretty impressed too - considering I've had high blood pressure for as long as I can remember - but as soon as you came along - BAM - nada!

Thanks, Baby Girl!

They didn't do measurements but will do them next week. So, I'm not sure how big you are. I'm pretty sure you're bigger than our last visit because my baby belly is getting rounder and larger. I think you'll be a big baby and maybe even come sooner than what the doctors think.


You did something else super cute today. You blinked at me! During the sonogram you were wide awake and extra squirmy. The tech stopped for minute on your sweet face and said "Look - there she is - she's looking right at you!"

And there you were, blinking away!

I did get tears in my eyes and I'm pretty sure I saw you roll your eyes at me ;-)

It's pretty funny how even now - those little things - like when you kick me (or as Daddy says - playing the base drum - he's pretty convinced you'll be the first female death metal drummer), hiccup and now just even something like blinking - how all these simple things just seem so amazing to me!

I am constantly reminded at how amazing our Creator is and how incredibly blessed I am to be trusted with you.

We visit our normal doctor tomorrow so rest up - I'm sure you'll be poked and prodded some more!

Daddy and I love you, Sweet Girl! Keep on growing!

#63

63 Days to go...

9 weeks left!!!

We're officially in single digit weeks, Little One!

Daddy and I were driving home from church today and we were talking about you - of course.

As usual, he was calm, cool and collected as I was neurotic and nervous.

I ask this question almost every day - "Can we really do this? Be parents?"

It's such a huge undertaking and I know that it's time for us - mainly because God blessed us with you. If He didn't think we could do this, I don't believe for a second He would have put you in my belly.

But, I was telling Daddy that it doesn't feel like I'm old enough to be a Mom.

I don't feel old enough to be almost 30 years old.

I don't feel old enough to have a mortgage, deal with life insurance, talk about 401Ks, or discuss the market.

I've grown up a lot since my teen years. Feel better in my skin than I have in long time, proud of what I've accomplished so far (but know I still have a lot I need to do), and have matured a little - ok a lot.

Yet, I don't feel like I'm old enough to be a Mom or old enough to even consider myself an adult.

I guess in some ways it's good.

I am old enough to know right from wrong and the consequences of breaking rules.

I am old enough to understand that having a child isn't just about popping out a kid - but actually giving birth to an eternal soul.

But, I'm not too old to forget what it's like to have your heart broken by the boy you like, to NOT watch CWTV, sing Kelly Clarkson while driving in my car, or to look forward to Santa coming Christmas morning.

So, I guess I'm just not old enough but just old enough to be a Mom - YOUR Mom - Sweet Baby.

For now, you're still too young to worry about being old - so just keep on growing.

#64

64 Days to go....

Hi, Sweet Girl!

Daddy and I went to a birthing class today at the hospital you are going to be born at.

Since we expect you to be honest with us concerning everything in your life, I'm going to be honest with you.

The class was B.O.R.I.N.G.

Maybe it was because I had learned so much from my past schooling and Daddy was fidgety - but - we were kind of over it around an hour into the class.

Daddy is freaked out with old school videos and the ones they showed were very early 90's. I don't understand why he doesn't like them, but they creep him out.

Now, I will admit I did get a bit teary eyed when the baby finally came out - but - even with my background and the little exposure I've had in medicine - the whole birthing thing - kinda gross.

Since I have some blood pressure issues, I'm not sure what our doctor is going to do - he may let me labor or not at all - but one thing we agree on - is that we want to do what's best for us both.

I'm going to pack our bag for the hospital this week and do my best to finish your nursery.

We still have a lot to do before you officially join us in 64 days.

For now, your only job is to keep on growing! We love you so much!

#65

65 Days to go....

Good morning, Little One!

First, let me tell you how loved you are and how blessed our family is to have people in our lives that really love and pray for us. It's important that not only do we ask people to pray and remember to pray but to thank those for the prayers and thank God for answering prayers (no matter what His answer is). So, thanks blog readers for your emails, phone calls, and comments. And no worries, seriously, everything is going to work out according to His plan.

Last night we had a great time! I had never really felt big and pregnant until last night. We went to the Mavericks game with Tatay and Nana. Daddy and I LOVE those Mavs and feel so blessed that they always take us to games. We really loved it since they whooped the Spurs in game 3 of the playoffs!Tatay and Nana - not sure what she's looking at

I'm having hot flashes so I felt really woozy and uncomfortable. Everything seemed magnified - the sounds were louder, lights were brighter, people more annoying...

Us - he's such a hottie!

We had awesome seats - about 10 rows up behind the Mavs bench. So, I got to see my boyfriend, er, Dirk - up close and personal. He looked at me, smiled, and saw my baby belly and said to himself, "Guten Tag - I will win this game for you my Asian princess. Yah!"
I am SURE of it!

Daddy got to see his man crush too - Jet was on the runway - and took awhile to take off but he did his job and scored us some points.

Mavs strategy huddle

I also saw a side of Daddy I hadn't seen. He seemed more protective of the both of us. More so than normal. It was very sweet. We also bought your first piece of Mavs gear.
Overall - it was a GREAT night!

So - keep growing Sweet Girl - get ready for a big game on Saturday!