FIVE!

Countdown with me!

Five days until Bug's big 1st birthday.

Can you believe it, blog friends?

Remember when I started the 100 day countdown to her birth and now we're on our 5 day countdown until her 1st birthday?!?

Time flies when you're having fun :-)

And fun is just the tip of the iceberg.

Being her Momma has taken every emotion and magnified times one billion bagillion and filled our home with sounds of joy, tears of bittersweet emotions, and love that is unlike anything that can be described.

I've had to think long and hard about the 5 things that have kind of defined her 1st year - or I guess - OUR first year.

So - here we go! READY or NOT!!!

FIVE - Motherhood is like bizarro/opposite world from what I thought it would be.

I am so surprised at myself as a mother. I was for sure going to dress up Iz in matching onesies with big ginormous bows. She was going to be a super sweet cuddly baby that was going to let me love on her and rock her to sleep.

Well...

I am a lot more practical than I thought.

Iz is not a bow fan and neither am I! Gasp!
I am pretty partial - but I look at her face - her sweet perfect face - and don't think she needs any accessories. She is dressed in whatever is clean and whatever I don't mind getting dirty. There are many days where she hangs out in nothin' but a diaper...and the only reason we put on clothes and shoes to go out in public is because I'm afraid she'll rip off her diaper and flash/moon a cop and then we'd get a ticket or something...

She doesn't want to be held - except for maybe a minute before bed time. She wants to explore and toddle her way through, over, and under everything and anything that gets in her way.

I spend money on things that matter - diapers, formula, bottles, meds. Instead of the fun things like toys, clothes, hair bows...so unlike how I pictured me spending mine (er...Craig's) hard earned money!

So Iz took me out of the fantasy world of kiddie couture and a sugar n' spice n' all that's nice...
And this year has shown me that the vision and dreams I had for her and for me as a mom PALE in comparison to what the reality of what being Iz's momma is like.

For Real...

Summer lovin'!

Have me a blast...

Summer came in fierce here in Tejas. Temps in the 90s and 100s have given us the perfect opportunity to spend time lounging by the pool.

Enjoy my pics from the past few weeks of summer fun!


Get ready to count down to Iz's 1 year birthday as I take a look back (and cry my eyes out every day this week) at her amazing 1st year!!

Oh yeah...talk about learning how to relax!

Thanks Abuelo and Abuela for my cool new wagon!

Liberty and Claire showing Iz how to swim :-)

Happy Birthday to Us!

Today Craig and I celebrate the birthday of our family...
more commonly known as a wedding anniversary.

On this day, 6 years ago - we made a commitment to one another to love, honor and cherish.

I didn't realize how powerful those words and the vows we said in front of family and friends - how truly powerful - they are.

But, my marriage is also my Achilles heel.

It's not because my marriage is weak - but because it's in my marriage that I find my greatness weakness.

And that's my husband.

He's the one I love more than life itself, the one that knows me inside and out, the one that I have no secrets from, the one that gives me strength, the one that I yield to, the one I submit to, the one that shows me happiness, and the one that can hurt me the most.

Craig's the one.

But, it's in this weakness that I find the bonds of our union to be much stronger than I ever thought possible. It's in my weakness for him that I find myself amazed at the unbelievable power a marriage has.

We said vows 6 years ago. And from those "I Do's" started a chain of events that have led to our lives today.

Our life that now includes a legacy in Isabelle. A joining of two souls to create one eternal soul.

That's power.

Married life has been a comedy - funny moments strung together - that when replayed in my memory - make me smile (inside and out).

Married life has been adventure and hard work - travel, separation (during medical school...man - 2 years apart...), parenthood, trials, that when replayed in my memory - makes me gleam with pride at what we've been through.

Married life has been romance - the millions of kisses, the big bear hugs, the youknowwhattimes - when replayed in my memory makes me blush - because after knowing him 15 years - I still get butterflies for the man that's been by my side for nearly half my life.

To many more years to come...

11 months....

...boo hoo.

Almost to a year and I am awed and amazed at how much my baby bug has grown and changed.

It seems like yesterday that we found out we were having a baby girl .

No way time has gone this fast. Didn't my water just break like a few days ago?

Be prepared, blog friends, to see a tear streaked, tear stained posts the next month or so as I make this pilgrimage to celebrate my Baby's 1 year accomplishment to turning a year old! How amazing. How bittersweet.

She's so stinkin' cute that I still can't believe I made her.

I can't believe she has two new chompers and keeps on cutting more to add to her collection of pearly whites.

I am amazed that she's standing on her own, taking hesitant, wobbly steps...all the while looking at me with her proud, smiley, scrunch face that makes my heart fall into a bazillion pieces...

I love that she wants to eat everything I put in front of her and am equally disgusted at watching her shove food in her mouth, spit it out, then put it right back in and chomp away.

I love that she points to her mouth, eye, nose, and tummy and says with confidence "mow (mouth), nose (umm...nose), and eye...tummy she doesn't say - she just points.

My heart swelled with pride as she looked at me one afternoon while eating lunch - put her two fists together - and clearly said "MORE!" After showing my Girl since she was 4 months old...she finally did it back.

She's doesn't say "I love you" but she shows me now that she lets me hold her and rock her. There is a bit of magic in the air when she looks up at me, lays her head on my shoulder and wraps her arms around my neck - then closes her eyes and sleeps while I sit, completely silent, fearful to ruin this absolute moment of perfection.


11 months...

Blessed.

Truly blessed.

On conference calls. She's a V.I.B. (Very Important Baby)


Ugh..she's amazing!!

Happy 11 months Iz!!

Adieu

Isabelle is almost 11 months old.

I don't know where time has gone.

I can't believe that not so long ago I was so focused on losing the baby weight and getting into shape. I probably should have paid more attention to my bundle of joy rather than working my tail off to get back into shape.

But, its 10+ months post baby and I can finally say I am back at my pre-pregnancy weight - maybe even a pound under.

Notice - I said "weight." Not body. I don't think my body will ever be what it was before.

Since I created a human being, carried life, and birthed an eternal soul (I have to really talk up the birthing process or I'll just cringe at the remnants of pregnancy ie - stretch marks, linea nigra that is STILL there...) - my tum, tum isn't quite the picture of perfection.

Since I nursed and gave nourishment to Isabelle for 9 months from my own body - my bubbies have fallen prey to gravity. Picture a balloon from a birthday party (my bubbies at 20)...then the days go by and slowly the air seeps out and balloon looks sad, deflated (my bubbies post baby at 30).

I remember longing for the days of my skinny jeans, tube tops, short skirts, and heels. I would grumble as I put on nursing tank after nursing tank, stretchy yoga pants, and flip flops or tennis shoes once again.

But now that I can fit into my old clothes, I have no reason to keep around the nursing bras, nursing tanks, maternity sweats, elastic waist shorts, balloon like dresses, and B.O.P.s (Big.Ole.Panties)...

And you know what - I miss them.

So what if I don't nurse anymore...can't my nursing tops/tanks/bras still double as some sort of sexy peekaboo article of underwear?

So what if I no longer have my baby belly...can't my maternity sweats and elastic waist shorts still be used as "work out" gear and laundry day clothes (but the problem is...I'm in them ALL the time...and let's be real....I'm not "working out" or "laundering" 24/7).

Can't the balloon dresses be paired with a cute belt and double as some sort of trendy baby doll dress? But then the whole..using the dress as a way to eat my weight in french fries and a let my gut hang out and not have to suck in...purpose of the dress would be lost.

And the B.O.P.s. - so dang comfy. So what if it looks like I'm wearing 1940's bloomers underneath my jeans! The normal undies - the ones that just cover the important lady bits - as pretty and lacy and satiny as they are...just don't give me the same sense of comfort as my B.O.P.s....

But, it's time.

I bid adieu to my friends that kept me clothed in comfort for 18+ months (yes..I was wearing maternity clothes 4 weeks into my pregnancy...anything to get into the elastic waist band...).

Adieu dear friends...adieu....

Lucky One

It's almost time to celebrate a day just for me.
Or for all the women in world who's first name is now "Mommy."

Who would've thought there'd be a day set aside for my "everyday."
A day that once upon a time - I would only have when I prayed...

For the bundle of joy that captured my heart the moment I saw her face.
For each smile, each laugh, each tear that she's cried - time will never erase.

For the baby bottles here and there and toys scattered on the floor.
For the crazy love in the pit of my stomach - realizing everyday - I love her more.

In this moment - I'm the center of her world - just like she is mine.
I know I can't fight the one thing I hate the most...and that is the speed of time.

As days turned to weeks and weeks to months...soon we'll be at a year...
It feels like yesterday that I held her in my arms - and wiped away her very first tear.

She made me a mom, teaches me motherhood - with every triumph and every trial.
No matter how difficult the road has been - it's worth it when I see her smile.

Cards in the store - the well wishing for me - all the "she's lucky to have you" - I've heard.
But there's a secret I have - come close as I whisper - listen to every word...

The joy that I have as I watch my heart grow every single day.
Sure she's lucky to have me - but face it - without her - I'd be lost along the way.

I'm the lucky one - it's me - she's my gift - a gift beyond measure.
There's nothing more precious or valuable than her - my role as Mommy - I'll always treasure.

Happy Mother's Day to all my blog mommies!

10 months old!

I have a 10 month old baby girl that reached the double digits on the 19th.

I can't believe it.

Iz has 4 teeth - one I lovingly call her "snaggle tooth."

She has taken 2 steps, is a cruising machine, stands on her owns, sings to her shoes, squeals at her doggies, loves on her Daddy, lays her head on her Momma, sleeps in until 6:30 am (ugh), eats everything and anything I put in front of her, plays nicely in her Pack N' Play but screams bloody murder in her 15x15x15 ft play area, says "uh oh" and throws her toys, shakes her head and says "no, no, no" when she crawls towards danger zones, talks and talks and sings and sings in her crib until you come and get her.

She's amazing and I can't believe how fast she's grown.

Love you, Bug!